Everyone should feel fierce when draped in freedom.
Only available in size Freedom. (via Facebook)
If there's one force out there that Americans must overcome in order to truly feel free in this great country of ours, it's not Communism, it's not Fascism, it's not ISIS—it's mean teen girls. Search your feelings; you know it to be true. Nothing can bring a proud American to tears faster than a well placed teen verbal dagger (especially when their moms, who have obviously failed in their duties, laugh along with them). But, much like Rachel Taylor here, we get back up, dammit.
We get back up and we put on the tank top they made fun of, because gosh darnit we look fierce, and our forefathers kicked the British out of this country precisely so we could look fierce without the fear of foppy-wigged aristocrats (the teen girls of the 18th century) making fun of us. At least, that's what I think. I was only a history major, so what do I know?
Oh, and we should get a gift certificate for it, too. Because...because more freedom, that's why.