If you see people doing something new and you think maybe you want to take part in it, breathe deep, count to ten, and remember that people (especially teens) make terrible decisions in groups. Nothing is more true of this than fads. Trends. What's "hip." Jncos in the 90s. Bleached tips. Popped collars. Ren fair horns. Humanity is capable of terrible things. Fortunately, they also invented the Internet, which hasn't gone the way of the Pet Rock yet, so we can use it to extract confessions from these paragons of shame and poor judgment, which is exactly what happened when /u/whatsausernamefor people on Reddit were asked "What's the stupidest trend that you followed?" Let's take a walk down repressed-memory lane.
Sins of Fashion
1. User Modernthought wanted to confess and atone for his sins of preppiness.
2004-2006 I could be found wearing 3 different color polos with all collars popped.
2. Everyone who ever gave miss hlovely a ride in their car is still finding these shiny bastards between the seats to this day.
Using one of those horrid crocheted sack purses with the shiny circle shit hanging off of it.
Mine was exactly like this one
3. User millipedecult dropped by to reveal their participation in a trend so stupid, this writer was previously unaware it even existed:
Fake top part of boxer underwear, that were sown into the pants to make it look like you were sagging your pants. 90s was the worst time for clothing fashions.
3. Please find it in your hearts to forgive valley_pete for being the most 8th-grade 8th grader in history.
Bleaching the front of my hair blonde and using a bunch of gel to do that little "make it stand up" flip thing. Not like over the top, or to the side flip, just have like the inch of blonde go straight up.
Will try to post a pic when I leave work. It's super lame.
Edit: 8th grade me. The bleach isn't as bright in the pic as it actually was, but yeah, this gave me chills of the douche variety.
Edit 2: I also used to rock a Ruff Ryders "R" symbol on that chain, but thankfully a schoolyard chum probably smacked me in the face and held a mirror up at me. It was summarily thrown out.
4. They don't just call him MisterBigDude because he admits to being old enough to wearing trendy slacks in the 70s.
1970s: plaid polyester leisure slacks. The trendsetters looked cool in them; I looked like Dorkenstein.
5. User queendweeb proves that her title was earned, not inherited. There's too much to go through, so only one was embedded. The best one.
Overly large cargo pants 1998ish?
Nike Swoosh eyebrows and dark lipstick DEF. 1998.
terribly wispy baby bangs and ren faire horns 1995 fo' sure.
edit: forgot a couple! princess leia buns 1999, I'd guess.
AND one of my faves: tye-dye shirts and blossom hats (11 year old me thought I was totally bitchin' here, back in 1989ish.)
6. Everyone needs to thank boxjohn ASAP.
In the 8th grade I lived in the hood, insomuch as that exists in Toronto. The cool thing was your plain white T/Big white T. Kids only halfway through puberty were wearing mens XXL and XXXL sized t-shirts. It was stupid. they looked like dresses.
So I convinced my dad to take me to a big-and-tall shop and buy a 7XL plain white t-shirt. That's XXXXXXXL. It was like 30 bucks in the cheapest brand they had over a decade ago.
I wore it to school once. I was 5"10 and it was well past my knees.
It was probably just played out in general, but the fad seemed to stop after I did that. I'd like to think I did that.
7. User rtillaree knows the truth, which is that Kriss Kross'll make ya deeply regret your choices.
Wearing my clothes backwards. Which truly was, in retrospect, wiggity-wiggity-wack.
8. SmallLumpOGreenPutty knows what to wear when cargo pants don't have the space and unattractiveness you need.
Those baggy black trousers with huge external pockets and straps hanging off all over them.
9. If this was just littlewhitedove_, it would've been fine, but the fact that 10 million girls did it all at once when "Sk8ter Boi" was the problem.
As a teenage girl: lots of black eyeliner, straightening my hair with a clothes iron and wearing men's ties. Oh, and dirty converse. I used to buy a pair and immediately stomp in mud and scratch them up so they looked punk rock??? I don't know. I'm not proud of it.
Sins of School
1. Whatever was wrong with this kid's school, they eventually picked WorldsGreatestPoop as their username, so...
At my school we played a game called Lunch-Butt. The goal was to stick your lunch in your underwear for at least one minute and then eat your lunch. It really got out of hand and they had to ban Lunch-Butt. We tried playing it outside the cafeteria but the janitor caught us. We had to meet with the counselor and write essays about why we should not play Lunch-Butt any longer.
2. The kids at pcon258's school were apparently worse than people who call Wednesday "Hump Day."
Sack tap tuesday. On tuesdays in middle school, a group of boys would run around and "tapping" unsuspecting male classmates' testicles.
One good thing came out of it though: got to hear our principal say the words "sack tap tuesday." They can never take that away from us.
3. This is kind of a fashion sin, but too awful to be called "fashion." If you don't know what Soap Shoes are, imagine things that looked like 90s Sketchers but with plastic soles so you could slide down handrails. And nothing else. Like Heelys, but not as useful. Y'know, the kind of thing a dude named shitlordcaligula might wear.
Buying Soap shoes and getting really really good at grinding rails. Turns out it didn't drop panties as I expected it would.
4. No, wordbird89 they are not.
Remember those little finger skateboards and BMX bikes? Yeah, I spent way too much of my middle school cash on those things. but they are kinda cool...
5. Remember, parents, you can send your kids to church retreats to play innocent games all you want and they'll still end up being named Tittiesplease.
At my church there was a game that we would play at camp. People would make a circle with their hand and blow through it, like a dart gun. If someone aimed one at you you had to stand stock still until they "pulled it out" of their neck. The only way to avoid this mess was to cover your neck before the person could blow.
This bled over into the school year and led to me being stuck in a bathroom for 1/2 an hour
6. If you ever need to apply for an adoption agency, Mayisbetterthanxmas, this may be a good reference.
I took care of 3 tamagotchis simultaneously. I thought I was the hottest of hot shit in the early 90's.
7. bl1y made a joke about the collapse of the job market in 2008. Hahahaha. :(
Going to law school in the mid-2000s
Sins of The Internet
1. Too soon, mistermagoo2you, too soon.
The Harlem Shake ....
Gack! I hear the song again - stop it, stop it!!!
2. Your optimism is amazing, profwhataloadacrap.
Psy - Gangham style. I dedicated myself to break into dance EVERY time it played. Even at my office job. I bought the tshirt at the kids store, I even started considering that psy's dance moves could possibly create world peace.
3. Everyone in your top 8 regrets it, too, Paradigm6790.
I regret everything I did on Myspace.
4. Continuing that thought, AkirIkasu recalls how embarrassing online dating was before people figured out that swiping & sexting was all anyone wanted to do.
I remember my About Me section on dating websites, way back when. I am sure that all the people who read my novel knew how great a guy I was.
5. This was the original Facebook status (which doesn't really exist anymore).
Think about your AIM away messages for a minute.... Yeah...
6. Not technically an Internet sin, TheLyz, but most people only learned this term online and it's just so hard imagining this happening in the real world.
I was a total weeaboo for awhile. I glomped people, said things were kawaii, and said "Ja!" instead of goodbye like the idiot I was. And then I grew up. I still watch anime and read manga and even went to Japan for my honeymoon but I'm not annoying about it.
7. At least the world got a South Park episode out of it, Mattene.
And finally, the Really Bad Ones.
1. Live fast and die coughing, needtissues4myissues.
2. You're worse than smoking, bailadelcorazon.
Playing The Game. I usually forget about it.