While an apple a day might keep the doctor away, it turns out that apple might've been waiting for a year to do so. (Which is about how long you take to even make a doctor's appointment, isn't it? Get that mole checked out already.) YouTube show Thoughty2 made a video that steps through the entire process in a somewhat sane fashion, despite the clickbaity image below:

The takeaway? Buy your apples at the farmers market or Whole Foods, or there's a great chance they've been chemically processed and waiting around in cold storage for several months.