Candidate-inspired cocktails to get you drunk no matter who wins the election.

Candidate-inspired cocktails to get you drunk no matter who wins the election.
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It's election night and, win or lose, we're either going to drown our sorrows in booze or celebrate our victories with ... booze. Here are some candidate-inspired cocktails to help you put the election—and yourself—to bed.

Donald Trump's P***y Grabber

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Looks sweet, but will get you plenty effed up.

4 parts of "the best" vodka (whatever Putin drinks)

1 part maraschino liquor for an unnatural hue

1 part Goldschläger​

3 dashes of orange bitters for obvious reasons

1 twist of orange

Serve in a glass small enough for any adult's hand.

http://giphy.com/gifs/love-face-trump-GHZ9RZFGqsWbK

Hillary Clinton's Nasty Woman

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Doesn't go down easy.

1 part tequila (preferred by "bad hombres")

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2 parts clam juice

2 Parts tomato juice

A few healthy splashes of Ninja Squirrel Hot Sauce sourced directly from Hillary's purse

1 splash fresh lemon juice

Mix over cracked ice in a lowball glass.

http://giphy.com/gifs/election2016-balloon-l41YbnQ2qRrBesVag
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Mike Pence's Punisher:

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This Tea Party cocktail has no booze, cause that would hurt the baby you were forced to keep, but makes up for it with plenty of gas.

2 parts Lemon Zinger brewed Tea Party tea

1 part soda water

Shake together with disdain, add 1950s-era lime garnish.

http://giphy.com/gifs/election2016-no-frustrated-3oz8xQROIoxfapm78k

Tim Kaine's Triple Threat

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The only cocktail on the ballot that has served all three elected positions— for experienced drinkers only.
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1 part Governer's White wine

1 part Senator Lager

1 part El Mayor tequila

Combine all parts, stir for 30 years.

http://giphy.com/gifs/colbertlateshow-stephen-colbert-late-show-tim-kaine-l0MYrUx9LdhY7w5Gg
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