Here are all the really good and really horrifying things coffee does to your body and mind.

Here are all the really good and really horrifying things coffee does to your body and mind.
Advertising

In honor of National Coffee Day, we are going to end the "Is coffee good for you?" debate once and for all by outlining what's good and what's terrible about the ol' brown stuff and letting you decide if the addiction is worth it. Should you put down the mug and enjoy a life of steady, consistent energy and healthy bowel movements? Or should you pick it up and revel in the delicious, hypomanic euphoria of a cup of joe? Or do you just keep doing what you're doing, but with a newfound smugness now that you know all these facts?

The Good:

1) Coffee contains nutrients which lower the risks of Type 2 diabetes.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/48574624157937bb23ab-IhhCTY.jpg
My favorite way to drink coffee is the injection method.


2) Coffee can lower the risk of developing Parkinson's disease.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/2051224366b2dd520bfao-TRvTex.png
This is your brain on coffee.


3) Coffee has been shown to speed up your metabolism.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/4834404563b622efdbd6b-4Psp0J.jpg
He's holding in his poop from drinking too much coffee.
Advertising


4) Coffee is a mood enhancer.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/4183641321456ea4dc5db-aTaRyx.jpg
TFW you drink coffee.


5) Coffee has the potential to help prevent Alzheimer's.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/145977382212b69247ff2b-x5sVJ4.jpg
This diagram would make a great cheesy coffee mug if one of the regions was named COFFEE.


6) Coffee can protect your liver.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/162551774920cccffde96b-ZEZzki.jpg
"I'm going to recommend 900 doses of coffee."
Advertising


7) Coffee can increase life expectancy

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/393217457c906301977b-PAL8td.jpg
They're waiting for their coffee.


8) Coffee can reduce your risk for certain types of cancer.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/thinkstockphotos-sb10069454x-001-A6J9in.jpg
"I can't wait to get off my shift and go grab some coffee." 
Thinkstock


9) Coffee gives you energy.

Advertising

The Bad.

1) Coffee is a diuretic

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/thinkstockphotos-468746803-18qeic.jpg
Someone drank too much coffee.
Thinkstock


2) Coffee can cause insomnia.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/thinkstockphotos-494241601-HE5BWW.jpg
"I can't sleep. All I think about it coffee."
Thinkstock


3) Coffee can worsen anxiety.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/thinkstockphotos-479705357-79V49b.jpg
"Do you think they can tell how much coffee I drank?"
Thinkstock
Advertising


4) Coffee can cause heartburn, ulcers, and acid reflux.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/14406734266266a7b665ak-0OAm8Q.jpg
Coffee. Too. Good.


5) Coffee can limit your body's absorption of vitamins and minerals.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/69565617820e18a324f9k-oXTM40.jpg
Coffee is giving this kid the energy to serve as a visual metaphor.


6) Coffee can contain Acrylamide, which causes cancer.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/thinkstockphotos-523114549-9I4sRz.jpg
"I hate to say it, but we might have to wean the patient off of coffee."
Thinkstock
Advertising


7) Coffee can cause urinary/bladder problems.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/thinkstockphotos-464690843-ssqzzW.jpg
Bark bark. Coffee coffee.
Thinkstock


8) Coffee can increase blood pressure.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/564555973180d4663b93b-gesN4b.jpg
What if you used that to pump coffee instead?


9) Coffee causes dependency and has nasty withdrawal symptoms.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/thinkstockphotos-78807071-y8K1H7.jpg
"Let me just get one more sip of coffee then I'm quitting forever."
Thinkstock
Advertising

Fun fact: the time it took to read this article is how long the average person takes to chug three pots of cold coffee. Wait, average people don't do that?

Advertising