In the immortal words of George Washington, "My first wish is to see this plague of mankind, war, banished from the earth. My second wish is to get sloshed."

"Beer is proof that Ben Franklin loved us and wanted us to be bifocals."
(via Thinkstock)

If you think that modern Americans hit the sauce too much, be glad you weren't alive during Colonial times, aka "the saucy years." (History writers, feel free to use that term in American history textbooks in place of "Colonial America.") The Atlantic recently took a look at the work of Dr. Benjamin Rush, a signer of the Declaration of Independence and an early supporter of temperance. One of the things they found is that early Americans drank a fuckton more than us, starting immediately after the signing of the constitution:

Sources: The Atlantic