In a very fitting submission for San Francisco's Stupid Shit No One Needs And Terrible Ideas Hackathon (yes, that is actually what the event is called), tinkerer Jonathan Marcus of Massachusetts made groundbreaking strides in the field of deep frying, becoming perhaps the first person ever to deep fry water. Vice's food-focused offshoot, Munchies, reported on the culinary monstrosity's process, which Marcus brilliantly realized the key to is putting the water in some sort of contained membrane. It has been documented and uploaded to YouTube for the world to see this Panko-crusted piece of history in the making.
Marcus warns of this recipe's dangers in the video description.
WARNING: This is potentially very dangerous. If water leaks out while the sphere is frying in hot oil, it may explode sending scalding oil everywhere. Do not attempt without proper safety precautions. Do not consume until cooled down or you may get burned. Also they don't taste particularly good. You have been warned.
Now that you've read the warning about why you should never, ever do this, read about how to do this at home the next time you're craving some stupid shit you don't need.
- Frozen reverse spherification (calcium alginate membrane)
- 375ºF peanut oil
Great. Now encase the water within the calcium alginate membrane, gently roll it in flour, gently roll it in eggs, gently roll it in Panko crumbs, and even more gently lower it into the boiling hot peanut oil for several minutes. After that, you take it out, let it cool, slice the motherfucker open, and slurp that goddamn deep-fried water.
Marcus' reaction to being the first man on earth to drink fried water?
Yeah, that was just, that’s water.
And the golden outer crust of the vessel?
That is the blandest fried thing I’ve ever tasted.
Around a dozen lucky souls at the Stupid Shit Hackathon had the privilege of embarking on the same underwhelming fried water experience. Now, the next time you look out into the ocean and think, "I wish I could eat the whole ocean that's right here in front of me," know that your fantasies are but dreams that greater minds than you made come true.