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St. Patrick's Day is here once again. If you're like many people, you'll observe this ancient celebration of Irish culture and spirituality by getting plastered and puking green food coloring onto the street. However, that would be tame compared to the pro drinkers you'll see in this article. Whether you're planning on avoiding the chaos tonight by staying in and watching Angela's Ashes, or going out and just trying to stay more coherent than the degenerates around you, this list will help you remember to drink responsibly. Just don't say "responsibly" in public, or you'll get beaten up. Here are the 14 most ridiculous people who ever went viral for being drunk:

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1. This guy trying to skate home from the bar.

2. This old guy leading a train full of people in a sing-along.

3. This whiny hipster who got his kayak stuck in the mud.

4. Benedict Cumberbatch slurring his acceptance speech.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=72&v=nssdGhqSU-g
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5. This Polish guy who isn't great with doors.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ydMckm2zPA

6. This fedora dude who locked himself in a bathroom stall.

7. This dad who ran afoul of a trampoline.

8. These Bears fans whose innocent race ended tragically.

9. This guy who fell asleep in a very uncomfortable position.

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10. This drunk driver wearing the worst shirt for his mugshot.

According to the breathalyzer, he was actually drunk as fuck.
According to the breathalyzer, he was actually drunk as fuck.

11. This guy who needs a minute before going back to the party.

12. This virtuoso who sang all of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' in the back of a squad car.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqymcJRSbxI

13. And finally, this drunk goalie.

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Now it's time to vote on the drunks. Who's the sloppiest?