How to not let being blackout drunk on a sidewalk stop you from drunk-texting your ex.

How to not let being blackout drunk on a sidewalk stop you from drunk-texting your ex.
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"What's up with these #verticaltaxis driving up and down this wall I'm leaning on?"

Every once in a while (or every weekend), you come across someone so drunk it makes the times you've been blackout drunk seem small and petty, like telling Lance Armstrong about the time you drank too much coffee and biked to the next town really fast. This guy is so drunk that his world has shrunk to whatever is on that tiny iPhone screen, and little things like gravity, the comings-and-goings of a gigantic metropolis, street filth, how stupid he looks and whether or not all of this is worth it for whatever genius message he is composing — all those things cease to exist. We don't think he'll remember anything tomorrow except a distinct irritation at people walking up buildings.

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