Happy National Donut Day, a day on which this divided nation can come together to celebrate a universal love of sugary treats, and an internationally renowned obesity rate. Many donut shops are giving away swag to celebrate, so as you line up at Krispy Kreme or Dunkin' Donuts, stay entertained with these jokes as sweet and fulfilling as donuts themselves.
Here are hilarious tweets about donuts, mixed in with some donut-themed food porn to get you through the long line.
Happy #NationalDonutDay to all the babes on IG today, posing with a donut, putting it down & drinking a kale smoothie— Dolph Ziggler (@HEELZiggler) June 3, 2016
You want a donut?— Kiss My Tats (@One2thTEXAN) May 26, 2016
Me: I just ate.
So that's a no?
Me: give me three.
#NationalDonutDay? Uhh, call me when it's National CRONUT Day, proles— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) June 3, 2016
My friend said that I'm shallow but that just isn't true— Mattzilla™ (@mattZillaaaa) June 3, 2016
*picks the donuts with the most sprinkles
I imagine being in love with 2 different people is like choosing between powdered or glazed donuts. So I get it, polygamists.— Misnomer (@DoneEffedUp) May 24, 2016
Shout out to donuts for always filling the hole inside me when they themselves have a hole to fill. #NationalDonutDay— Drew Lynch (@TheDrewLynch) June 3, 2016
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I'll eat this donut & just skip dinner— maura quint (@behindyourback) January 5, 2015
I'll eat dinner & just have salad tomorrow
I'll eat this food mountain & just decompose after death
A 70 yr old man in a bakery just aggressively asked me "you aren't voting for that crook Clinton are you?" I was like "I just want a donut."— Giulia Rozzi (@GiuliaRozzi) March 5, 2016
haven't even eaten dinner and I already know I'm gonna SMASH a donut at 2:30 am— Paul Danke (@pauldanke) February 19, 2016
My roommate just suggested we get one donut and split it, so I'm looking for a new place to stay.— Jasmine Pierce (@jasminecomedy) October 11, 2015
I just turned down a donut because I'm a superhero.— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) August 26, 2015
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Donut shops should be called Hole Foods.— Brian Boone (@brianbooone) May 8, 2015
Just ate a donut that changed my life by making it slightly shorter.— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 12, 2015
Paleontologists estimate this donut they found somewhere on my bed is from the Brian Era, which was like, at least 3 months ago— Lynn Bixenspan (@lynnbixenspan) August 4, 2014
Maybe Lee Harvey Oswald was just checking if JFK really was a jelly donut.— Erik Bergstrom (@Erik_Bergstrom) August 3, 2014
ALL DONUT APPAREL IS 20% OFF!!!!! - Tag 3 friends and you 'as well as your friends' will be entered to win free DONUT Apparel next week! - Use the code "IIFYM" at checkout 👽✌🏾️ - #IIFYMGIRLS #doitforthedonuts #donutporn #ifitfitsyourmacros #flexibledieting #iifym
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On National Donut Day, I entered a contest to win free donuts for a year. They could just as accurately have said free donuts for life.— Matt Nedostup (@nedostup) June 6, 2014
u insert the donut hole INTO the donut itself; the portal opens— Eli Yudin (@eliyudin) November 6, 2013
Whenever I eat a donut I always think to myself, “Looks like I’ll never know what it’s like to be a grandpa.”— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) October 10, 2013
#NationalDonutDay really is the purge. The cops are otherwise occupied.— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) June 3, 2016
Worst part of almost choking to death on a donut was the 20 seconds I wasn't eating donut.— Bez (@Bez) May 9, 2013
Donut shop turns their receipts into a Mitch Hedberg tribute. The best. pic.twitter.com/D2tytjyxpi— Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) May 4, 2014
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