Are you satisfied now, America? Are you?!?!
So, how much mustard do you like on your pizza? (via Pizza Hut)
As a former resident of New York City and a current resident of Chicago, I've witnessed the pizza wars from both sides of the fence. I've eaten more than my fair share of both styles, and I have come to appreciate each of them for their specific attributes. This is a topic on which I have lots of opinions. Lots and lots and lots of opinions. But this is not the time for that, because as you can see in the photo above, the pizza world is under assault from something wholly different and strange.
Pizza Hut has just announced that it is going to be offering something called the Hot Dog Bites Pizza here in the United States starting next week. Apparently, this hotdog-pizza hybrid has been fairly popular in the United Kingdom for a number of years now. Though, blood pudding has also been pretty popular over there for at least a couple centuries, so maybe take that into consideration when processing your feelings over this.
I feel like I'm in a unique position to serve as a sort of Jon Snow of pizza eaters. I think it might be my responsibility to unite the East Coast thin crust aficionados (with whom I spent my formative years) with the Midwest deep dish connoisseur I live alongside of today. Despite their many differences, they still believe in pizzas with basically the same ingredients. But this hotdog pizza... This is something else. This is something to be scorned and held at arm's—
Ah, who am I kidding? I'll probably eat three of these by the end of next week. When it comes right down to it, I just like pizza.
Come to think of it, hotdogs are pretty great, too.