18 times baristas butchered customers names in ways that defy logic and sanity.

18 times baristas butchered customers names in ways that defy logic and sanity.
Advertising

It's the original "first world problem": you're paying way too much for a drink at Starbucks (or a Starbucks imitator) and then you have to suffer the indignity of having your name butchered. Yeah, espresso machines are loud and there are so many people in line chatting on their phones, but still. These are people's names we're talking about. This is not a game, but apparently nobody told that to the out-of-control baristas who scribbled these baffling titles on cups.


1. "Cass."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/meow-CUnIRl.jpg
Now and forever.

2. "Phil."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/fill-rJtHm2.jpg
It's short for "Fillerup."

3. Chad.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/shat-8mGT0p.jpg
A pretty crappy mistake.
Advertising

4. "Roxanne."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/rocksand-wuqlRr.jpg
You don't have to put on the red light.

5. "Jude."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/jude-hvbLoE.jpg
And anytime you feel the pain? Refrain.


Advertising

6. "Lucy."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/lucy-5B6AMa.jpg
As in

7. "Ian."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/aiyon-Fh9nyw.jpg
This is how they'll spell Ian in the future though.

8. "Emily."

Advertising

9. "Simon."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/simon-xUiuif.jpg
"Hold the milk."

10. "Barbara."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/marbra-4fdlxi.jpg
Or "Mabs" for short.


Advertising

11. "Monica."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/monica-CJ68Ey.jpg
To be fair, Monica is a very obscure name.

12. "Allison."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/allerson-sp7Tgs.jpg
"I knerr thers werld ers kerlling yer…"

13. "Madeline."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/madeline-S9cCCR.jpg
Hooked on phonics really works.
Advertising

14. Zach.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/tsach-y76TYo.jpg
A drink fit for a tsar.

15. Ann-Louise.

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/annlouise-9D5f7g.jpg
It's where the coffee will ultimately be felt most anyway.

16. "Michelle."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/michelle-PZsWuG.jpg
Launch the Michelles!
Advertising

17. "Virginia."

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/vagina-zB7m5o.jpg
Spotted in a Starbucks in West Vagina.

18. ????

//cdn.someecards.com/posts/poopee-1xmcU2.jpg
Poppy? Maybe? Who knows?
Advertising