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Halloween Is Terrible 

by Bob Powers

On one of my more enjoyable Halloweens, I began the evening surrounded by about eight teenagers in masks pummeling me with a barrage of eggs. They began by throwing them, then they got in close and started slapping them against my body until it was pretty much an 8-on-1 street fight. I look back on this Halloween fondly, since being jumped before 7 PM gave me the perfect excuse to not go out at all that night.