We cheat death every day just living our lives—driving, eating, and other normal pursuits could very easily kill us all. And yet many of us still try to court the Grim Reaper by running as fast as possible across the thinly iced-over pond of morality. Some Redditors recently revealed the dumbest things they ever did that somehow didn't end in their own deaths.


1. Kids and fire, a classic combo from Slaycube.

Little kid me had trouble sleeping so he would pass the time in his room throwing tissue paper into the space heater and watching it burst into flames on contact. Some how I did not start a massive fire, burn myself, nor get caught.


2. This one from 1_Bearded_Dude will poke you right in the feels.

When I was younger, probably around 8 or 9, I loved to play with syringes. Now note, we had a couple syringes around the house that didn't use needles, like for cleaning out the pockets after a wisdom teeth surgery and stuff. I would play with them in the bath, just fill them up with water, squirt them in my mouth, shoot it at the wall, etc. It was just like a mini squirt gun for me.

One day my friends and I were playing around a construction site. I found a syringe there. This one did have a needle. I carefully grabbed it and took it home. I never told my parents.

I remember taking it to the bath and playing with it like always. I filled it up with water, squirted in my mouth. I was careful with the needle, but after playing for a while I poked myself. It hurt, so I decided to throw it away after that and I was done with it.


3. Was idelta777 stupid? Sure. But refusing to be victimized? Badass.

I was walking to my house, just one block away, suddenly a guy in a hoodie comes to me, tells me to give him my stuff and shows me a gun. I froze and didn't say anything, this was my first time being mugged. He tried to reach in my pockets and take my stuff by himself but I just started walking and went past him without saying a word like nothing happened, he just yelled "fuck you" and that was it. When he yelled I knew that was the end of it and realised how stupid what I did was.


4. After Heavy_Cheese_Gunner was done, the neighborhood smelled like Ocean Cool for days.

I sprayed deodorant into a plastic bottle, put in a fuse, lit it, and ran away, hoping for a cool explosion. It did not explode as I had hoped, but rather shot across the yard with a bluish flame coming out of the end. Then it hit a tree and sort of splatted.

5. It's because of people like McGruffin that Lawn Darts are banned.

When we were kids, my friend and I used to play a game where we would throw lawn darts straight up into the air, and then stand there and try not to get hit. When the darts hit the ground, they would make such a deep impact they would be tough to pull out. We are very lucky that we never lost.


6. The only thing burgled from iambaney that day was kindness.

My house got broken into while I was home alone and sleeping. Instead of making my presence known or calling the police or anything reasonable like that, I stood up in my room and froze until the burglar got to my part of the house. When he shone his flashlight on me, my instinct was to greet him with a casual "Hello!" Super friendly tone, like my next words might be "Glad you could pop in! How are the kids?" Before I could say anything else, he dropped the loot and darted out the back door faster than anything.

Nothing was stolen and no one was hurt. Considering I probably surprised and scared the shit out of him, that scene could have ended in much worse ways.


7. Freadan goes with the floe.

Once, as a teen, I decided to do a running long jump out to an ice flow that was in the middle of a lake. The ice had melted around it, leaving it free floating. I landed fine and thought it was pretty cool. Got yelled at by my parents and jumped back to shore, falling short and soaking my legs. I got chewed out later because if I had broken through the ice, or fell in the water I could have died.


8. MiniAfroNinja is so totally metal, even at age 8. With a toaster.

When I was 8 I put a metal knife in the toaster because my toast got stuck. I hit abit of metal in the toaster and my hand got shocked and my arm automatically flew back and I dropped the knife on the kitchen floor without even thinking about it. It was such a weird feeling that I cant really describe.

9. Let's hope nurturingtrapdoor had their hazards on.

Backed up on the interstate because I missed my exit.


10. This story from kittysly is the one time stumbling on a secret stash of dogs was a bad thing.

When I was 12, I rode my bike down a small path in the forest past no trespassing signs. There were like 10 signs and I ignored them all. No good reason, I just didn't feel like turning around.

Turned out to be a guard/police dog training facility. Luckily the dogs happened to be inside for a training session. The owner came out screaming at me. Apparently the dogs would have torn me to pieces had they been out.

11. Heads up, TodayKindOfSucks.

It was a hot and humid late July day. The air conditioning on the train built in the 1970s didn't work, obviously, so some windows were open. I stuck my hand out to enjoy the breeze. Then I stuck my head out.

Then about 4 seconds after my head was back in, we passed a drop bridge that left maybe inches of room between the train and the outside. My head would've been taken off cleanly.


12. User natergonnanate could see his house from there, and also the face of Death.

I sat on the railing of a balcony. On the 26th floor.


13. High school was a gas for SecretlyaPolarBear.

In high school some buddies and I would go to one friend's house and have a fire and drink. We had snow more than half the year, so we got used to a snowy firepit and sometimes used gas to help light the fire. Drunken boredom ensued and not enough girls there to tell us how stupid we were being, but we ended up making snowballs, drenching them in gas, lighting them in the fire, then having a flaming snowball fight.


14. MrsRoseyCrotch had those classic summers: swimming pools, cinder blocks, and almost dying.

My siblings and I spent a lot of time in our pool growing up in Phoenix. We tried out all sorts of things that should have ended badly.

My favorite was how we'd put a metal bucket over our heads to breathe underwater from the air bubble inside. It was too hard to keep it from floating off our heads before we could explore the deep end of our pool so we put a cinder block on top of the bucket. We'd even do it if we were swimming alone.

Also, where were my parents all summer?

15. Pretty sure stormycloudysky did die and is a ghost now.

When I was 19 my accelerator stuck when I was about 5 minutes from home and I was like "whatever no big deal" and just coasted at 40 mph through the next 5 stoplights (they all turned green at the last second) and 3 stop signs to my driveway. My parents flipped when I told them.


16. A surprisingly not shocking entry from bob138235.

Well, yesterday I grabbed hold of the business end of some live jumper cables. Only had a minor burn on my hand.

17. Freckledgiraffe is bearly alive.

I chased a bear. a big ass bear.