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Lower that BLT from your greasy lips and take a seat. The news you've been trying to deny is true: bacon and other processed meats cause cancer.

This is your colon on bacon.
This is your colon on bacon.
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Eating as little as two slices of bacon per day increases your risk of colorectal cancer by 18%, according to the World Health Organization. If your response to that news is "How bad is colorectal cancer anyway?" then you might have a problem. 

Sources: BBC News