Lower that BLT from your greasy lips and take a seat. The news you've been trying to deny is true: bacon and other processed meats cause cancer.

This is your colon on bacon.
This is your colon on bacon.

Eating as little as two slices of bacon per day increases your risk of colorectal cancer by 18%, according to the World Health Organization. If your response to that news is "How bad is colorectal cancer anyway?" then you might have a problem. 

Sources: BBC News