The brain is a fascinatingly complex machine that controls all of our subconscious bodily functions and conscious actions. But like any machine, it gets tired and worn out and needs a quick break every now and then.
Unfortunately, those little lapses seem to always happen when we're doing stuff. Some folks on Reddit shared some of their most ridiculous mental lapses, or, you know, brain farts.
1. To be fair to stephen_hawkqueen, it was just going to wind up there anyway.
Grabbed a roll of toilet paper, walked over to the toilet to replace the empty roll and just tossed the whole roll into the toilet
2. the_frail should buy one of those new fancy fridges with the dedicated laptop shelf.
I tried to put my laptop in the fridge. I remember being annoyed that there wasn't any room for it. I was like, ugh if it weren't for this bottle of ketchup and jar of pickles my laptop could go on this shelf right here... oh....
3. Give Helix_van_Boron some credit though.
I cut up a customer's credit card when I was working retail. I had several customers in a row that all used gift cards. After a gift card is emptied we were supposed to cut up the card and throw it away. On autopilot I would up swiping somebody's credit card, cutting it in half, and dropping it in the trash while the customer looked at me very confused. Luckily they were very understanding of repetitive retail work, and didn't get upset.
4. Taking stock with Portarossa.
I could tell I was getting sick one time, and so I decided to make a really nice chicken stock to have some soup later in the week: chicken bones, carrots, onions, you name it. It had been cooking for about three hours by the time it was done.
Then I drained it through a colander straight into the sink.
5. Bless you, TardyElephant.
The one my girlfriend and I still laugh about is when she sneezed and I said, "Happy Birthday."
6. That was a total waste of milk, Dironox, because that stuff makes its own gravy.
filled my dog's bowl with dry cereal and my bowl with dog food and milk... only one of us enjoyed breakfast.
7. And KruddyCat had to put their name on it so nobody would eat it.
Threw lunch in the trash. Took bag of cat shit with me to work.
8. Sounds fishy, Bodymaster.
Licked a crab while looking at my ice pop.
9. It didn't work, so craig_machine had to scrounge for $1.25 in change.
I tried to scan the bus ticket at the front door of my house to get in.
10. Blugentoo2therevenge got her husband a job for his birthday.
Taking my husband out for his birthday to his favorite place, auto pilot drove to work and parked. He didn't say anything because he thought it was hilarious.
11. Mornings, amirite, shaftautopump? No, seriously, this is very bad.
Filled the coffee maker, put in fresh coffee and water, left the jug sitting on top of the machine. Got an all staff email later "someone's flooded the kitchen with coffee, the machine is out of action until it dries."
12. igbay_agfay was just sharing.
My friend handed me her phone at a party while I was also holding a cup of beer and for some reason I just stared straight at her and dipped her phone in the beer
13. brutusclyde almost bares it all here.
I flew out to San Diego a few months ago. I fly maybe 1-2 times a year so I'm familiar with the process but I'm by no means a pro at this.
Atlanta airport, TSA line. Monday morning, so a huge crowd. Laptop in the bin. Suitcase on the conveyor belt. Shoes, glasses, keys, watch. Take off my belt. Unbutton my jeans and hook my thumbs in the top of my jeans and underwear and PREPARE TO PULL THEM DOWN...
Come on, brain, could you show up a little earlier next time?
14. And that's how you drive them away, LawHelmet.
Driving home after a long day of work.
To my ex's
With my current girlfriend
15. Silly Villager03, you eat pencils.
I once tried to drink out of my pencil cup holder thing and nearly choked to death on a pencil.
16. That explains the heavy, lumpy, crying thing for sheahobbit.
Lost track of my 18 month old sister for 2 solid minutes in a pet store. In a total panic, I realized I was carrying her
17. Uh oh, WhapWhaaap wet the bed.
I had a glass of water in my right hand, and my phone in my left. I walked into my bedroom and tossed my phone on to my bed. Except I didn't, I threw the glass of water instead. I was very very tired. Unfortunately my lack of sleep then became the reason I couldn't go to bed.
I just sort of stood there and gawped at my own stupidity.
18. Poor jmcstar is still there.
Waited for stop sign to turn green