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It's time to swallow your pride and admit there's something good about not swallowing every edible thing in sight.

We've all been meaning to go on a diet, but maybe tomorrow... or sometime next year... or when work gets less stressful and we can stop covering our anxiety in Chipotle burritos. Mmmm. Chipotle... Agh! Forget I wrote that.

It's difficult to convince yourself that there's any reason to diet, especially when the results don't come fast enough, and food is constantly surrounding you, calling out to you like a text from an ex. You were meant for each other, you and that burrito. Why did you ever give up on that decadent, 1,000-calorie chicken and beans wrapped in— Damn it! OK. I'll stop.