There's a reason we make doctors go to college for seven years, but that doesn't stop patients from thinking they know what their problem is, even if it's physically impossible. Who among us has not thought they'd contracted Ebola or become host to an immaculate conception? These 12 medical professionals have heard it all, and shared it all on Reddit. Here are the craziest medical conditions patients have ever convinced themselves they had:
1. Tacosplusmeequals had a mother who apparently has never looked at her own tongue.
2. qriousgeorge learned something new about billions of people.
3. Danimerry's patient answered the eternal question: which came first, the chicken wings or the cravings?
4. The appropriately-named redditor "allergist" had a patient who thought she had really slow-acting STDs.
5. pharmaSEEE regularly has patients who think they have a disease you definitely don't want to look up on Google.
6. Kingofclean had a patient who did actually have a fascinating disease, but merely a psychological one.
In reality, Morgellon's is a psychosomatic disorder where patients are convinced they have (you guessed it) wires and fibers under their skin. They also typically collect these and bring them to doctors. According to Wikipedia (yes we realize we're teasing people about WebMD and then researching Wikipedia), the fibers patients bring in are usually cotton, perhaps loose threads from shirts.
7. Hoax13 had a patient who wouldn't know she had a baby if it was screaming in front of her.
8. HotSauceIsBest found out even pets can get misdiagnosed.
9. BPSteve had to work on symptoms from memory.
10. BuzzLiteBeers shows why sometimes pronouns can be important.
11. traumaprotocol had a psychotic patient that made his problems seem a lot cuter than they were.
12. One former patient, FerrisTM, chimed in to remind people that sometimes the brain just really, really, really believes things that aren't true.
I'm not a doctor, but I've been the crazy patient. Earlier this year I had a conversion disorder, which, for those who don't know, is when a person "develops" a disease and presents symptoms, but the whole thing is actually taking place in their heads and they're fine. Within several weeks, I systematically lost my ability to walk and was terrified. I saw a series of doctors, and they theorized everything from MS to ALS, so I was pretty sure I was dying. I ended up in a hospital, but by this time I was starting to doubt myself. My reflexes, MRI, and other tests had all come back normal, and I could do things like jump, but not walk. Finally, my first night in the hospital, I spent several hours convincing myself that I was making it all up and that my family and loved ones would forgive me if I just made it all go away, and that it would be okay. So, I got up to go to the bathroom...and was fine. This experience still haunts me as the single most embarrassing and humiliating thing that I have ever done, even though I thought that it was real. Even though it was months and months ago, I feel terribly on a daily basis for scaring my family and friends, and for wasting so many doctors' time. I'm glad that I discharged myself from the hospital before they had the opportunity to run anymore tests.
Tl;DR: Not a doctor, but once wasted countless doctors' time and resources after inexplicably convincing myself that I was losing the ability to walk.