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Good news, ladies. Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop newsletter is back again with more advice on the care and keeping of your lady parts. What is it this time? Healing vagina stones. More specifically, jade stones in the shape of eggs which you insert into your hooha.

That's right, my friends. For just $66 (available for purchase at the Goop shop, of course), you too can stick a magical rock in your vagina. Why would one do such a thing? According to Goop's "beauty guru/healer/inspiration/friend," Shiva Rose:

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Jade eggs can help cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm, balance the cycle, stimulate key reflexology around vaginal walls, tighten and tone, prevent uterine prolapse, increase control of the whole perineum and bladder, develop and clear chi pathways in the body, intensify feminine energy, and invigorate our life force.

When you tell your date there's a magical jade egg in your lady parts.
When you tell your date there's a magical jade egg in your lady parts.

Unfortunately for all of us, the stones have already sold out. Will someone please write to Gwyneth Paltrow and ask her if there's a waitlist? I'd hate to miss out on invigorating my life force.

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Plus, we all know what a great idea sticking objects in your vagina is.