Was there ever a time when it wasn't winter? Seems so long ago now, those halcyon days of not being encased in a whispery sausage casing of polyfill. Winter blues are no joke, but these tweets about it sure are.
I spend 90% of winter putting on chapstick and the other 10% crying furiously for no reason— Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) February 20, 2015
WINTER FASHION TIP: GET CREATIVE WITH PATTERNS OF INCREASINGLY DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS— Chris Worthington (@SomeChrisTweets) February 18, 2015
preparing for seasonal depression is like a militia preparing for war except instead of stockpiling ammo you buy 15 pairs of sweatpants— Mandy Slamberg (@MandySlamberg) September 24, 2012
Winter owns because it gets dark before dinnertime so you can get a head start on your Sunday Night Dread— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) December 6, 2015
Canadian winter's not bad. When it gets cold, we just throw another bear on the fire and call everyone we know to make sure they're not sad.— A guy? (@lazerdoov) January 15, 2012
Praying for sudden death every time I have to struggle to stuff my puffy sweatered arms into my goddamned winter coat— raw local honey (@Discountdracula) March 15, 2013
[Frozen 20 years later]— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) December 4, 2015
Elsa: The cold bothers me now.
58.75% of all emergency room visits during winter in Minnesota are caused by front door shoe piles.— Joel Ingersoll (@FlyoverJoel) November 11, 2014
The best part about winter is waking up instantly angry every single morning— Dan Hopper (@DanHopp) February 6, 2015
Sure, it's tough to stay upbeat during the shorter days of winter, but it's better than seeing hourly vacation pics of bare feet near water— Nikki Walter (@TurboGrandma) December 8, 2015
The way to avoid seasonal affective disorder is to stay busy with fun winter activities, such as contemplating mortality & yelling at snow.— Just Gwen (@msgwenl) January 19, 2016
After 4 years in California a single cloud gives me seasonal depression.— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) December 3, 2014
Animal Farm:★☆☆☆☆— joesph (@sad_tree) October 22, 2014
"Want to know what cows eat? Too bad. Nothing about farming. My family did not survive the winter. Easyread. Good pacing."
"Maliciously the weather gets colder in winter, because the Earth tilts like a complete asshole." -NYTimes weather page.— Joseph Fink (@PlanetofFinks) September 3, 2010
Call it 'Winter" if you must, but I choose to call it 'The Melancholy Exile of Cleavage.'— Uncle Dynamite (@UncleDynamite) November 3, 2010
Like a vigilant little squirrel I collect nuts all summer and fall to survive the lonely, sexless winter.— Ally Maynard (@missmayn) August 6, 2011
Can't decide whether to binge-eat pickles or cry uncontrollably in my neighbor's shed to celebrate day one of seasonal affective disorder.— Amanda Mancino (@Manda_like_wine) January 1, 2016
Finally got winter boots, days after the blizzard. Unsatisfying. Feel like guy who finds bat-with-nail-thru-it week after we win zombie war.— Kevin Seccia (@kevinseccia) January 3, 2011
so glad the sun sets at 3:30 now! life is too long!— pascalle (@frenchielaboozi) November 23, 2012
I will be wearing a hoodie for the rest of winter. A flesh hoodie. Made of Italian food and lava cakes.— Aaron Abrams (@MrAaronAbrams) February 5, 2013
I don't want to hear about your seasonal depression. Some of us are committed enough to be depressed the whole year.— Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) November 2, 2015