People shared stories of the oddest ways they ever vomited. Unsurprisingly, it got gross.

People shared stories of the oddest ways they ever vomited. Unsurprisingly, it got gross.
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You know how hearing or seeing someone vomit can actually trigger your own nausea? Luckily, that never happens when just reading about an up-chuck. Well, hopefully it doesn't. Here are some of the most extraordinary vom-stories, taken from a few soaking, chunky AskReddit threads. Good luck.

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Her hair is getting dangerously close to the inside of the toilet.

1. ChorroVon explains why sometimes you should try to eat sushi in two separate bites.

Sushi restaurant with a coworker having lunch. I sneezed and caused a piece of wasabi to fly into my sinus cavity. My pain threshold was almost instantly maxed out and I ended up spewing yellowtail all over the table in front of me. From an outside perspective it looked something like this.

ACHOO!

Ah! AH! AAAAH!!

HOOOOOORK!

And as you turn around to looks you see a loudly crying and vomiting man trying to get up and get to the restroom as fast as possible.

It's always seemed unfair that you have to shove the entire piece of sushi in your mouth to eat it.

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Sushi train is leaving (your stomach) and approaching the station (as vomit).

Is throwing up at the table actually less rude than laughing in the face of sushi-etiquette? Smaller bites for greater safety, everyone.

2. Imposter24 made his throw up do the slinky trick.

Either:

  • The top of the stairs, so it cascaded to the bottom like a magnificent pungent waterfall
  • My best friend's shoes

You know, the slinky trick:

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Imagine this, but with slimy vomit.

Or picture Alex Mack as her goo alter ego sliding down the stairs.

3. You might think LH44Gooner's story is cruel, but—well, yeah. It's cruel.

On a man in a wheelchair, while at Seaworld.

But this guy's comment in crueler:

Was he in the splash zone?

4. Wsumommy probably should have moved away.

As a teenager, I used to walk to work in a very small town. I threw up on the sidewalk, and I had to walk by it for months before the sparse summer rains washed it away. It was too late, the acid had burned a mark in the sidewalk, and I had to see the outline everytime I walked by there. .. for years.

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Imagine being haunted by your own vomit every time you took a walk. Usually that's only the case when you're hung over.

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Haunted vomit, visualized.

5. IamBZ is either a liar or the most interesting vomiter in the world.

Got sick and puked on both the Great Wall of China and Machu Picchu, but probably the most inappropriate was over the side of a boat on to a great white shark.

Is it sad that I saw this thread and thought, "oh I got this one!"

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He doesn't usually vomit, but when he does, it's on a shark's f***ing face.
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6. This guy turned an all-you-can-eat buffet into an all-you-already-ate slopfest.

Here's me in 4th grade: chubby, cocky, and hungry 24/7. Due to how much I ate, my mom often took me to buffets. I didn't mind, I was fat, hungry and shameless. After about 4 stuffed plates, I went back for dessert. I was right in the middle of the buffet where all the food was. I take one bite of this yogurt concoction in a fancy glass cup, and I immediately started explosively vomiting all over the place. On the floor, on the food, on the shoes of mine, and others. It was terrible. My mom heard the vomiting groans I was making, grabbed my wrist, and pulled my outside to the car, while the whole restaurant was rushing out with us. It was glorious.

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Gotta think it looked something like this:

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But with dozens of people, not one glorious lizard.

7. Brospehgordanlevitt makes the list for his popularization of the term "hand bombed."

Worst place: Puked in a bathroom sink at a house party. The sink was right beside the toilet... I had to hand bomb the puke into the toilet and clean the sink for it to go unnoticed.
"Best" place: New years, years ago, the countdown was reaching one. I felt an unsettling feeling in my stomach and had only a freshly empty beer cup in hand. I put my lips to the cup as if to drink, and filled it right to the rim with my tummy-beer. Into the trash it went, and back to the party I joined.

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It's no doubt a useful term to have in the personal lexicon.

8. Thtstz's wife turned some finger paintings into some experimental performance art.

No me but my wife, we were looking at childcare centers when she just took Ill and projectile vomited up a classroom wall where the kids had their artwork displayed.

So creative. Great art. Worth thousands. Said one commenter:

Everyone's a critic.

9. Not sure why they threw him out; elomretep was just making it rain.

On/over a couple in the smoking area of the club I was thrown out of shortly afterwards. There's nothing like somebody else's vomit on your shoulder to spoil your evening.

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Like Drizzy, but with bodily fluids.

10. Now this is a game that no one should play. Because it is gross.

One time after a long night of drinking, one of my buddies and I found a four square court in a parking lot. We decided to play puke-square (in other words we just each puked in a square) We're weird....

11. And just in case you thought you weren't going to learn something today, there's this from HotHandsHanon:

Not me, but one of my buddies in college, whilst on a party bus, got the urge. What else was there to do than puke in your boot, empty it out the window, and repeat as needed?

Different guy, different party bus. Turned his shirt into a hammock, puked in it, slid the shirt off his body, and threw it out the window.

I've seen a lot of puke.

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Foolproof method. It's an elaboration on "hand bombed" that should be called "shoe bombed"—unless that's got some other connotation. In that case, you can just call this disgusting.

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