Resolution #16: Screw This Guy
Where did he take it, and why did he not return it until now?
In a stunning defeat for email-forwarding idiot relatives everywhere, the American Medical Association made an unusual move this week at their annual conference in Chicago: they actually took a stand against people who are technically doctors, but mostly just play one on TV. This comes on the heels of criticism of the AMA for sitting on the sidelines during growing controversy over questionable and profit-driven cure-alls hawked by doctors on television. So, the AMA resolved to create new ethical guidelines for physicians in the media. And by "physicians," literally everyone knows they really mean one snake-oil peddler in particular, Dr. Mehmet Oz, TV-MD.
By AMA standards, this paragraph is like a scene from Mad Max: Fury Road.
For over a year now, Dr. Oz has been at the center of a firestorm around his dubious claims made to a daily audience of millions. Various studies have found that half of all his recommendations have either zero basis in fact, or worse, directly contradict the best available research.
For Oz's part, he says this is about the "fundamental right of free speech." Which, like most people who use the term "free speech" to defend themselves from criticism, ignores the fact that "free speech" just means the government can't go after you for your opinions. The AMA, however, is just as free to call out Oz for telling credulous morons watching daytime TV that dried pepper dust in capsule form is a miracle "belly blaster." Just one of the many claims that landed him in front of an angry Senate subcommittee hearing. Spoiler alert: if dried plant dust was a miracle cure, we would have known that thousands of years ago when dried plant dust made up 100% of all medicine. Except for powdered animal dicks, of course.
On tomorrow's show, we address my critics and set the record straight. We will not be silenced. https://t.co/7UMGqbG7ku
— Dr. Mehmet Oz (@DrOz) April 22, 2015
And even though their recommendations do not have the force of law, the AMA also has the right to urge state medical boards to revoke a doctor's license for their behavior in the media. And, because the AMA has never gone on TV to tout whatever holistic sponsor paid them the most that week, doctors actually listen to them.
Of course, being a bureaucratic organization made up of people with demanding day jobs, it will take the AMA some time to make actual guidelines. This should give Dr. Oz a pretty big window to quickly endorse enough diet pills to kill off a major league baseball pitching lineup (and retire in the process).
Today @seabrinkley stops by & shares her natural anti-aging secrets. See a preview here: http://t.co/WTLKaib0WV pic.twitter.com/r1mfJiphDx
— Dr. Mehmet Oz (@DrOz) March 4, 2015
Of course, I'm sure in Dr. Oz's book, an honorary doctorate from Powdered Homeopathic Bullshit State University is just as effective an AMA-endorsed doctorate. Even better, this miracle diploma only takes seconds to make you go from a normal person to calling yourself a doctor. Traditional methods can take 7 years and cost thousands of dollars. Can you afford to listen to a non-tanned, non-suit-wearing, non-TV doctor? I didn't think so.
I'm not saying this is wrong. I'm just saying this is the stupidest thing I've ever read.