Tracy Kiss, a 29-year-old single mother, personal trainer, and blogger, istalking about a new miracle health product: the "sperm smoothie."

Now, this doesn't come completely out of nowhere. Kiss has already lauded the health benefits of the non-sexual "semen facial." Again, non-sexual, although she does have her sperm donor tested for STIs to make sure nothing dangerous gets in her drink.


Like the smoothie, the one ingredient in the semen facial is "harvested" by a generous friend, totally without her involvement, and delivered in a "fresh tub" to her home thrice a week.

Wait—tub? Wow.

The vegan Kiss, a "qualified nutritional adviser" according to The Sun, mixes the semen with "fruit, seeds, coconut or almond milk—but is also happy to drink it on its own." Apparently, Kiss claims this concoction wards off the flu, and she drinks it every day. "Sperm is an awesome product and we should stop being so ridiculous about it."


"I'd been feeling run down and had no energy but now I'm full of beans and my mood has improved," she told Closer Magazine, adding that "it can taste really good—depending on what my friend has been eating."

As for the inevitable backlash, Kiss talked to Vice to explain away what she sees as hypocritical criticism of her preferred miracle ingredient.

"In relationships, you put fingers in holes, you taste things, and you don't see it as cringeworthy. But when you take away the passion and say it's scientific, people don't like it."


One of those people is a doctor quoted in The Sun's story, who says "there is absolutely no nutritional value to semen," and suggests vegans get protein through something more traditional, like "nuts."

She's way ahead of you there, doctor.