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There are lots of expensive, questionable medical procedures out there, but most of them at least have the good sense to not invoke ancient evil in their names. But the Vampire Breast Lift laughs in the face of your puny concerns, because the Vampire Breast Lift is an all-powerful fountain of breastal youth! OK, it's actually a procedure where a doctor takes your blood, removes the platelet rich plasma (PRP), and injects that plasma into your breasts. You wouldn't necessarily know that from the Vampire Breast Lift website, though, which literally refers to that platelet rich plasma as "the magic." The Vampire Breast Lift creator, the Kenny G-haired Charles Runels, MD, claims that the $1,800 procedure can "lift saggy breasts, improve the shape and look of cleavage, fix inverted nipples, remove stretch marks, and increase breast and nipple sensitivity."

Sources: h/t Refinery 29