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The weather has gotten cooler and the leaves are starting to change color, which means it's time to tuck your scarf into your jacket, buy a pumpkin spice latte, and give a big ol' middle finger to anyone who sighs and says wistfully, "We should go apple picking!"

Yes, it's time to admit that apple picking sucks balls.

First of all, it is always inconvenient to get there. No matter where you live in the country, apple picking is two hours away. Probably because if you actually live near an orchard, you won't have sentimentalized the process of harvesting fruit.