Chicago artist Edward Cabral carves a better pumpkin than you. (Don't feel too bad; we bet you're better at something than he is. Like reading articles on the internet!) The classically trained Chicago artist makes work that "centers around the ephemeral and ornamental," which is a fancy way of saying, "Hell yeah, I'm gonna carve the sh*t out of that pumpkin, and I don't give a f*ck if it's gonna rot." 

Cabral told Mashable that the jack-o'-lanterns generally take six hours to complete, but can sometimes take longer. It's easy to see why:

Sources: h/t Mashable