Chicago artist Edward Cabral carves a better pumpkin than you. (Don't feel too bad; we bet you're better at something than he is. Like reading articles on the internet!) The classically trained Chicago artist makes work that "centers around the ephemeral and ornamental," which is a fancy way of saying, "Hell yeah, I'm gonna carve the sh*t out of that pumpkin, and I don't give a f*ck if it's gonna rot."
Cabral told Mashable that the jack-o'-lanterns generally take six hours to complete, but can sometimes take longer. It's easy to see why:
And here's how that guy looks illuminated at night:
Cabal also carves pumpkins that feature pop culture themes and famous folks:
In addition to his seasonal pumpkin work, Cabral also works as a cake decorator. We hope that someday he decorates a cake to look like one of his carved pumpkins. Until the day that dream is realized, we'll just stare at this: