Today is Friday the 13th, so try not to make a crack by stepping on your mother’s back—that’s how the saying goes, right? In Western superstition, it’s considered the unluckiest day of the year, but god only knows how that whole hellish superstition even started.
Whether or not you're a firm believer in this day, here are 15 pretty horrifying Friday the 13th stories pulled from a cesspool of Reddit threads. The truly scary part is that these things could happen to anyone on any day of the week. Life is just random and cruel like that. Have fun!
1. Guidolini's sister will probably never ever go to the attic again.
My family moved into a new home on Friday the 13th about 15 years ago. My sister was moving boxes up into the attic, which happened to be directly above my bedroom. She was young at the time and didn't realize that you couldn't step on the insulation because there were no support beams underneath (only sheet rock). So, I was laying in my bed and all of a sudden, she comes falling through the ceiling into my bedroom.
2. This guy and his girlfriend have some bad juju when they're together. Oh, and poor bird.
Combo of unluckiest thing for me and my girlfriend. While we were together, within 10 minutes she found out she missed a test, I got a boot on my car that cost 100 dollars, we saw a bird get run over, and our bagels were burnt.
3. bennett93ish proves that height definitely does not matter.
I fell 2 feet of a bench, dislocated my knee and broke my right-hand wrist so badly that I needed to get a metal plate put in.
4.This guy was born on the Friday the 13th and his saintly grandma really doesn't like that.
I don't personally remember, obviously, but this is the story I'm always told.
I was born on Friday the 13th. My dad is super superstitious and tried to convince my mom to "hold it" until after the day was over. She went into labor around 4 AM.
Then when I came out, I had some sort of infection(?) that made my skin appear yellowish and my head to stay slightly distorted. My older sister liked to call me Conehead for a while because of it, whenever she remembered.
My very religious grandmother on my mother's side thought I was a demon child and tried to kill me until people in the hospital ushered her out. Apparently, she sprinkled the whole newborn ward with holy water.
Happy birthday to me~
5. This girl was the talk of the water park.
My bikini top flew off on a waterslide.
6. Tealeaves_ may have sat next to a murderer on the bus.
A fellow redditor and I were on the bus today and we overheard this man next to us say, "did you get the body out of Mike's apartment?"
I come home seven hours later to the news that police found a body in the river, not far from where the man on the bus got off.
Luckily and unfortunately the body was of a drowned man.
7. After what IAmZanzibar did to his sister, he should've gone to church.
My sister walked into a giant teddy bear I was swinging around and had to get her head stapled, so I went over to my friend's house. Then his parents almost made me go to church.
8. Ragingsociallife deserves an "employee of the year" award for this.
I work at a grocery store and this woman was wobbling toward my line with a look of excruciating pain on her face. When she set her items down I asked if she was okay, she told me she had a c-section three days ago and that she was in a lot of pain but she was fine. So I bagged her groceries and at the end of the order she asked if she could leave her items at the end of my register while she picked up her prescriptions. I of course agreed, and slid them back behind me.
Anyways, my next customers were a husband and wife with a bunch of stuff. I kept their stuff separate from the other woman's, but when the husband went behind me to put everything in his cart he took the other woman's bags as well (she had 3) and I didn't realize until she came back to my register with her meds. I told her someone else had taken her bags and she started to swear, upset for obvious and understandable reasons.I felt absolutely horrible, this has never happened before. My manager and I ended up going through the store with her receipt and finding all of her items, but it took about 10 minutes and she looked like she was in a world of pain. Oh god worst feeling in my whole entire life.
9. Snoobs89's story is a horrifying story that may have happened to us all.
I took a dump and there was no toilet paper left..
10. Aren't kids great, Darth_mo?
My 20 month old daughter took off her poopy diaper by herself and carried it from the corner she hid in to poop and brought it to me, dropping poop all along the way- and then sat down on the carpet with a poopy bum. I got to scrub it all up! I win.
11. Krazykrazne's story is definitely the most horrifying.
I was attacked by a jaguar.
In 2010, I volunteered in South Africa at a lion and tiger sanctuary (that also takes care of a few other cats) and hand-raised a few cubs (two tigers and a jaguar). When they're that young, they remember your scent forever. So when I returned to the sanctuary again last year and came across the same jaguar, he recognized me and was rubbing his head/body along the fence like a house cat would rub against your leg with affection. It was a great feeling.
The lions at this sanctuary are very used to being around humans, so when you call for them, they usually come running to the fence and you can even pat their noses or ears through the enclosure fence, and they love it. But you only do that with the teenager cubs/young adult cats-- NEVER the big, big adult ones. I learned the hard way to never assume you can do the same to a jaguar.
Faster than I could process, he suddenly went from affectionately rubbing against the fence to quickly stretching his paw out through the fence and grasping my hand with his huge fucking razor sharp claws, right into the meaty area of my hand above my left pinky, and pulled me into the fence towards him. This went in slow motion for me, so it seemed like there was a pause in everything as I tried to think of how to get away from this fucking animal. I swore we made eye contact in this moment. He thankfully regripped his claws onto my fleece jacket rather than my flesh, and that was the moment I knew I had to act fast, or else I would lose my hand/arm/face/life. So, I put my legs against the fence and pushed against it as hard as I could, and the fleece ripped and I fell backwards onto the ground. My hand wasn't even bleeding, the cut was so deep. I was incredibly, stupidly lucky that I didn't lose function in my hand whatsoever-- and I'm a circus artist/hand balancer and NEED my hands for a lot of things. I was also stupid lucky in the sense that the jaguar hadn't even reached out for my hand in aggression, he was actually playing with me but didn't know his own strength. I'm 100% sure that if he were to have reached his paw out in aggression, I wouldn't be alive. And the worst part wasn't even the pain from my hand, it was the adrenaline that made me shake uncontrollably for hours after it happened. Horrible feeling that was way worse than the injury.
Fun fact: I caught all of this on my GoPro. And no, I won't post it. By far the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life and I'd rather not share that footage with the world haha. Another thing: this sanctuary kept rejected cubs that would die if released back into the wild/I wasn't part of one of those bullshit volunteer programs that doesn't take proper care of their animals. Ain't nobody got time.
TLDR: Don't ignore a sign on a jaguar's enclosure that says STAY 5 METERS AWAY FROM FENCE.
12. At least he didn't get attacked by a jaguar right, Hollerforapoopdollar? Still, ouch!
Not me, but I was the only one at work that saw it happen.
A guy at work ran into a corner and ripped his nipple ring out, the whole nipple followed suit.
13. As far as superstitious sayings go, Adhdxrockt lived through most.
- A black cat crossed my path
- I broke a mirror
- I broke a glass next to my dinner and now there is shattered glass in my dinner.. sooo... no dinner
- I got yelled at by customers at work
- And my shoelace broke in half when I tried to tie my shoe..
- The pin of my bra broke so halfway through my work day a metal in started poking my boob.
- I bought yogurt and accidentally dropped it. goodbuy Yogurt..
You could say it was a pretty normal day.
14. Sayonerajack's last sentence is unclear because he probably typed it while experiencing so much pain.
Split my toenail in half. One side is digging into my toe and it's causing debilitating agony everyone I so much as step on something funny [sic].
15. Skinnuh really wanted a milkshake.
I wanted a milkshake, but the queue was too long so went to the supermarket... which was closed. Some people were protesting outside of it. At least it's the 14th now.
Fun fact: three is the maximum number of Fridays the 13th that can possibly occur in a year. That means three ill-starred days for you to either remain paranoid in the comfort of your own home, or leave your house and smite lightning with a backhanded blow if nature decides to mess with you.