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The holidays are coming, which means the clock is ticking down to frantically search for gifts. Fortunately, decisions can be made quickly if you're willing to take the advice of any nutjob on the internet. Here are nine totally great, gift-able products that just so happen to be accompanied by hilarious Amazon reviews:

1. This children's book

"Everything falls apart the second you realize that the belly button was in plain sight all along. There is no conflict, there is no character development."
"Everything falls apart the second you realize that the belly button was in plain sight all along. There is no conflict, there is no character development."

Okay, but also it's a really great book to give to a child or a human who has had a child, and you cant get it from Amazon here for $5

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2. This waterproof Kindle pouch

"Got this for the Mother-in-law for bath time, hoping it'd be crap, he kindle would slip out and electrocute her."
"Got this for the Mother-in-law for bath time, hoping it'd be crap, he kindle would slip out and electrocute her."

It works! You can not kill your mother-in-law on Amazon for only $10!

3. This limited edition Christmas tree ornament

Make your tree great again.
Make your tree great again.
"This thing keeps trying to grab my cat."
"This thing keeps trying to grab my cat."
"It tried to put my nativity figures into an internment camp. Would not buy again."
"It tried to put my nativity figures into an internment camp. Would not buy again."
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Are you seriously going to let this keepsake get away? At under $200 on Amazon you can consider it an investment!

4. This haunted lawn gnome

"I had it out in my yard less than two weeks when it bit and infected all my other gnomes. I had to go out in the middle of the night and shoot their heads off before they attacked the flamingos."
"I had it out in my yard less than two weeks when it bit and infected all my other gnomes. I had to go out in the middle of the night and shoot their heads off before they attacked the flamingos."

Help your friends keep their yards looking tacky year-round for only $14.95.

5. These peel-and-stick googly-eyes

"I was always afraid of my house plants. What were they thinking?"
"I was always afraid of my house plants. What were they thinking?"
"I used up all of these eyeballs on items in the fridge to catch my wife off guard the next time she opened it."
"I used up all of these eyeballs on items in the fridge to catch my wife off guard the next time she opened it."
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This is exactly what you've been looking for. Add to any of your other gifts or "face" your produce for only $6.74 from Amazon.

6. They say this book is "good"

"Misleading title. I was so excited when I saw this on Amazon. Unfortunately, this book ha absolutely nothing to do with Lebron James."
"Misleading title. I was so excited when I saw this on Amazon. Unfortunately, this book ha absolutely nothing to do with Lebron James."

Get this book on Amazon for less than a buck!

7. This great crafting idea

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"I purchased this book as I was tired of people sitting too near my on public transport.
"I purchased this book as I was tired of people sitting too near my on public transport.
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Get this book for all the cat people in your life.

8. This super fun and not scary mask

"I thought I could control its power. I see now it cannot be held. I am the horse. The horse is I."
"I thought I could control its power. I see now it cannot be held. I am the horse. The horse is I."
"When I turned State's Witness, they didn't have enough money to put me in the Witness Protection Program, so they bought me this mask and gave me a list of suggested places to move."
"When I turned State's Witness, they didn't have enough money to put me in the Witness Protection Program, so they bought me this mask and gave me a list of suggested places to move."

How could you resist getting this for someone at only $21.84 on Amazon?

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9. And finally, this UFO detector

The truth is out there -- and could also be under your tree.
The truth is out there -- and could also be under your tree.
"This little gizmo is a bargain at twice the price and much more accurate than the voices in my head."
"This little gizmo is a bargain at twice the price and much more accurate than the voices in my head."

Learn what's out there, and be helpless to do anything about it, for under $90.