I believe it was FDR who once said, "there is nothing to fear but peeing your pants in front of the actors trying to scare you at a haunted house." Well those actors have definitely seen it—and more— and shared to reddit the funniest reactions they've ever caused while working at haunted houses. Here are 13 of the best.

1. Edymnion, who got got by a little old lady.

Little old lady, had to be 80 dragging her two 60 year old sons by their hands into the haunt, telling them in the sweetest little old grandma voice you can imagine "Now now boys, don't be pussies." She gets into the last room which was dressed as a movie theater where the entire screen would break open as a giant monster jumped out. She sat front row center.

My friend literally got his phone out and dialed 911 and was waiting to hit Send. Monster jumps out 2 inches from her nose, she shrieks, and then just collapses. We all rush in, she turns and looks at us and starts laughing. "We have movement!"


2. ​VikingRabies witnessed a real-life three stooges moment.

I was a talking head on a table. A group of five people led by a girl comes into my room and when the get close to me I say "Hello" fairly nonchalantly. The girl in front screams and falls backwards with a domino effect taking everyone else in her group with her.

3. ​Adam_Barrow wants to know if this was a threat or a promise.

Standard jump scare scene, a guy with a demon or whatever mask pops out, spooks the tour, then disappears back behind the wall...but I guess the guy got a little overzealous?

Demon pops out: "I'm gunna eat your ass!"

Tour member: "You're gunna eat my what?"

Demon: Recedes into shadow and myth, leaving more questions than answers

Tour member: "That's fine, this is fine."


4. ​Mishful_Thinking proves haunted houses are just darkly lit subway platforms.

My brother worked at a haunted jail in my town. He said it was all going well until like an hour before it ended. Nobody was showing up and he had to take a leak. So he decides to piss in the corner. As he unzips and starts, he hears talking and commotion. Of course, he couldn't stop. So by the time that large group of people reached he cell and looked in expecting a scare, they saw a wolf man pissing in the corner. And he says, the only thing he did was turn his head and growl at them while pissing.


5. ​Darrenyankj suffered a premature evacuation.

Was a faceless hood trying to scare people from behind the curtains, but didn't hear them approaching, so I didn't manage to pop out to scare them. They pulled open the curtains and asked me which way the exit was. It was both humiliating and amusing tbh

6. ​riotous_jocundity got a football player so scared he went straight bugs bunny.

My costume was vaguely like the girl from The Ring, a year or two after the movie came out. Pink little girl's dress, long black wig over my face. I was pretty tiny back then and quite flexible, so I could contort myself in pretty creepy ways. Add a strobe light and you've got some terrifying movements. Without fail, it was always the huge football players in letter jackets who would absolutely lose their minds in my room--screaming, trying to climb the walls to get away, breaking and running, the whole works. Usually their girlfriends would be standing by calmly. One guy's reaction was especially delicious. Once he saw me in the corner, contorted but slowly uncurling to drag myself across the floor, he screamed "Oh HELL no!" and ran through the nearest wall. Just took it right out (made of plywood, plaster, and some dry wall). Someone else ended up having to take him to first aid because because even once I was out of character he still couldn't stand to be near me. I won an award that year for Best Scarer.


7. ​brendan685 knows the scariest thing in the world is to name names.

I volunteered at one for a few years in high school. The best thing that happened was that I saw a girl from gradeschool going through the room. She obviously couldn't recognize me so as she passed I whispered her name. She got a huge fright and the next day she asked on Facebook who was working in the haunted house. I never told her who it was. Sorry Jenna.

8. Scribeykins was way scarier than Chuck-E-Cheez.

Not exactly an actor, but I was the guy who opened the door when a group went from one room to another. I wore this black cloak that had a hood that almost entirely covered my face (was thin enough I could see through it). These two kids (13-15 years old) came around the corner as I was moving my head back and forth looking at people and one of them said "dude these animatronics suck". I took a single step forward and he screamed in a really high pitch and jumped so far back he smashed into the wall. His friend stopped moving for a solid minute to laugh at him.


9. ​Edymnion was such a great scarer, here's another one from his sordid past.

Happened just a couple of weeks ago. I was taking the girlfriend down to Netherworld in Atlanta just because their haunt is one of the best in the country. We had gone through, had a great time, and were in the gift shop when this girl, maybe 11 or so, comes tearing in there. She had clearly been running away from one of the line worker monsters. I'm about 6'2" and without thinking I run over and tell her "Its okay, you don't need to be afraid of the monsters..." and then dropped into my crazy psycho voice I use in my haunts "...its the rest of us you should be scared of! Eh hehehehehehee!" Her eyes go wide as saucers because at this point I'm looming over her, my girlfriend grabs me, pulls me away and just goes "Honey, we talked about this, you're not allowed to do that to the normies!"

Girl ran out faster than she had ran in, and even the gift shop employees were going "That was awesome, good on ya!"


10. ​samwise1st2 didn't leave this house empty handed.

I was working a tunnel in a haunted corn maze with a creepy mask and hair that glowed in black light. I had a secret door I could come out of and try to just appear behind them once people dared to go thru. A couple was walking thru and I came out. The guy saw me and didn't jump or anything so I held a finger to my lips and sneaked up beside his girlfriend whom was intently staring forward where she thought the scare would be coming from. As I was creeping behind her she reached her hand back to hold her boyfriends hand. So I grabbed it and laced my fingers and we walked slowly forward together. A couple steps later she started to turn and say " I'm so freaked ou.... " we made eye contact and she screamed murder than passed the fuck out. Me and the boyfriend erupted in laughter and helped her to her feet. She was hitting him screaming " you ass hole you asshole"! Pretty sure he didn't get laid for a week but I bet it was worth it. I know it was for me. Funniest job iv EVER had.


11. ​nstamatical lost Jesus, but found a really great story.

I work at a haunt in PA that is part of a multi-attraction location (there's a haunted house, hayride, and corn maze. I work the house and we are generally the crowd favorite). Last year, my job was to sit in a shed where the exterior had been modified to look like a small mausoleum in the graveyard portion of the haunt. Thanks to a relatively simple system I knew the names of at least three people in each group that would come through. Into a mic connected to wrap around speakers (the sound followed the guests) I'd sing "Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies..." and then pick a name and ask "Why won't you play with me, (name)?" and people would lose their minds; part of the "lore" for the house was that a young girl had died on the grounds and she was buried in the graveyard.

Well, one night mid-season, I did this to a poor, unsuspecting soul named Tiffany. And Tiffany's reaction was to scream, at the top of her lungs, "Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS NEED JESUS!"

Without question my best story of the entire season.


12. PMMe_PaypalMoney_PLS just won mother of the year.

A woman who I assume was the mother of a kid pushed her front, and sprinted while screaming "survival of the fittest!"

13. And finally, sploom17, who is giving us the scatalogical story we've been waiting for.

I did volunteer once at a haunted house. I was the chainsaw murderer or something like that and i had a real electric chainsaw but with a rubber/fake chain. I jumped up at one girl who was by herself but i got no response so i thought damn didn't get her. I look away for a few seconds to see if someone else was coming and she was on the floor fainted and pooped herself.