Christmas songs, at this point, have been blaring in our ears since before Halloween. The overplayed sugary sweetness may be a little stomach-churning at this point, not to mention unrealistic. There are plenty of times when the holidays can go horribly wrong, but this goes consistently wrong every year. To ease that pain, we asked our readers what it would be like if Christmas songs were honestly titled. Here are 20 of our favorites:

1. What day does your true love give you pooper scoopers scooping?

 2. Do you get frequent flier miles for a guilt trip?