By far the scariest thing about Halloween is seeing all the tasteless costumes marching slowly towards you—costumed sleeves extended like a hoard of people who should have dressed as zombies instead of Caitlyn Jenner—and not being able to stop them.
He had a tough year. No need to make it worse. Don't get a gorilla suit.
2. The Zika virus
3. Harley Quinn
Clearly, this is not a terrible costume like Harambe or Zika, it's just too overdone. It's only September, and it's already overdone.
4. Donald Trump's hair
Even wearing a big shaggy rug and saying you're Donald Trump's hair is not clever enough. This goes for any Donald Trump pun, or any Donald Trump costume. Too easy! Sad!
5. This Tom Hiddleston look
Okay, this is a great costume. And hopefully you're the only one who thought of it and made a custom T on the web. But you're probably not. Sad!
6. Ryan Lochte
An additional 50 points from Gryffindor every time you use this costume to justify peeing on a gas station wall.
7. (Sexy) Hillary Clinton (in jail)
Donald Trump got 13 million votes in the primary, so you know at least half those people will grab a wig and an orange jump suit and ruin the holiday for their children.
8. The goose that brought down Sully
Don't char the edges of this a little and wear it trick-or-treating. This movie comes out in September—but the bird will be sucked up into the jets of October through the power of mean-spirited ideas.
9. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard (couple's costume)
Come on guys.
This is a topical costume for besties. Must avoid.