Bitter lovers share the worst gifts they've ever gotten for Valentine's Day. They're bad.

Bitter lovers share the worst gifts they've ever gotten for Valentine's Day. They're bad.
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As the pressures of Valentine's Day loom over both long and short term couples alike, folks are taking to Reddit to caution their fellow lovers of the absolute worst gifts they've ever gotten, given, or had the good fortune of just hearing about as a bystander. Some of these sound kind of fun, but remember, they didn't go well.

Might as well play it safe with a hilarious Someecard, right? Right?! For real though, these are funny things to send a loved one.

The following are decidedly not.

1. Shlong_Roy is probably still crying.

Girl I started dating a couple of months before Valentine's Day just got out of a long term relationship with her high school sweetheart. I didn't know she was still in contact with him when we were dating. She handed me a cute little bag with candy and a card. As I opened the card and read her pouring out her soul to her ex boyfriend about how much she still thinks about him and loves him. Evidently she made two gift bags. One for me and one for the ex and mixed them up.

2. No one can say Samohkt's girlfriend doesn't know what he really wants.

My girlfriend gave me a pack of cigarettes because I was trying to quit smoking, and she thought it would help me relax.

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http://giphy.com/gifs/laughing-smoking-mad-men-6iWLxCrCWJ572

3. RealAnthonyCamp tried to get things heated up.

I bought my wife a microwave for our first Valentine's day back in 2005...she had just moved into her new place and needed a microwave...not sure why everyone didn't see how thoughtful I was being

4. Jasonhuang717 has a plan.

A break up text after hyping your SO for some extravagant gift.

5. Cute move, W00dzy87.

I saved a patatoe in the freezer that was the perfect shape of a heart. I put it in there in June for February. When I got it out and proudly gave it to my wife it literally turned black and started leaking juices in front of her. In theory it was cute in practice it was like a death threat.

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http://giphy.com/gifs/potato-59CPOkwx1zdcc

6. This does seem funny from the outside, wacht.

Once I ordered my girlfriend flowers that didn't arrive (or were stolen from the porch), so I gave her the delivery confirmation instead.

It was not as funny as I thought it would be.

7. RabidPancakes lost a lover and gained a bro.

Found out my girlfriend of almost 5 years was cheating on me today (the day before vday), so probably that?

On the plus side kicking her ass out will be fun. I teared up calling her dad, he offered to help move her out, but no tears while telling her, which I think is hilarious.

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8. Bigfatguy64 snuck in here with some unexpected success.

I got my girlfriend new tires for her car...she cried (happy tears) and said it's the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for her. My gf is weird and I feel like I've failed at romance

9. AfricanSunset's SO absolutely cleaned up on the gifts.

When asked what my SO wanted one year, she said she wanted a H2O steamer mop. Cost me about £100 and she got flowers, chocolates and a date night on top of it. But of course, whenever telling the story, it has become the time I got her a mop for Valentine's Day.

10. Doobiedoo23 has more time for doobiedoos now.

Divorce papers

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http://giphy.com/gifs/divorceonhbo-sarah-jessica-parker-divorce-l3vQXj9vovz0099ss

11. Another reasonable dad with a reasonable reaction, from gfjq23.

My dad bought my mom a pencil sharpener one year for Valentine's Day. It was the only gift he ever bought her on that day.

My sister and I pestered him relentlessly saying it was weird he had never bought her a Valentine's Day gift, so he listened for what she wanted. She had been complaining that their pencil sharpener was junk, so he went out and bought this really nice electric one (this was in the late 80s, so actually a pricey gift). My mom was SO mad and so he never bought her another Valentine's Day gift again.

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12. This isn't even your story, GleichUmDieEcke.

There is a thread in r/relationships right now about this. There's a guy who is below average downstairs, right?

His girl asked him for a male prostitute so she could experience sex with a bigger dick again because she misses the feeling. After continuously telling him that his size doesn't bother her. Shitty partner right there

13. Samadhi05 is the winner and everyone loses.

My wife and I had a contest to see who could give each other the worst gift. She got me a wine bottle stopper that's a little guy with a big dick (the dick being the stopper). I got her granny panties and an enema. We agreed that I won.

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14. Ophelias32's husband is the ultimate idiot.

Well my husband two years ago got me a scale for Christmas. It was my big gift. It connected via Bluetooth to an app on my phone. Now I will say that I am forever trying to lose a few pounds, but that gift stung a little.

http://giphy.com/gifs/kirstie-alley-xoRHzrfyCwuli

15. Your relationship going okay, wall_hax?

I made this mistake during Christmas but it can most definitely apply on Valentines Day.

I bought my Girlfriend a "World's Okayest Girlfriend" coffee mug from World's Okayest. She refuses to drink from it and I find it hilarious.

She does not like the mug at all, which makes me like it even more.

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16. Was it one of those puffy ones, makingmc?

My dad gave my step mom a toilet seat once for Valentine's Day. He genuinely thought he had the best gift ever. This happened over 5 years ago and we still laugh at him about it

17. Tsquare43 wins the cringe game. Did he mean to type "ex gf"?

A Viva Venezuela T-shirt. My gf is Colombian.

18. Durpojones could pull it off as long as he didn't give that explanation.

This year I got my girlfriend a peequality product.

If you're not familiar with it, it's a purple sillicon plastic fake dick tube that allows girls to stand up to pee.

She marched in that womens protest earlier this year. So I thought if she wants to stand up for equality, what better way to do that than standing up to pee?

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19. And GeneralMalaiseRB is a jerk.

A dishwasher. Which is silly, because that's just a damn useful thing to have. I think where I went wrong, though, was that I had handed her a mirror with the word "dishwasher" along the bottom in Sharpie.

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