Valentine's Day has become an obligatory holiday for everyone. If you're single, you're supposed to celebrate how miserable you are. If you're in a relationship, you must celebrate your love—which does not always go to plan. People forget the holiday, misread the situation, are thoughtless, or simply do not want to be dating their partner. As culled from various Reddit threads, here are 12 terrible gifts that people got for Valentine's Day. Yes, in most cases, these couples failed to last.
1. samohkt's girlfriend had the right intention.
2. wacht tried.
Once I ordered my girlfriend flowers that didn't arrive (or were stolen from the porch), so I gave her the delivery confirmation instead.
It was not as funny as I thought it would be.
3. bowyer-betty's gift didn't make him feel special.
4. croncakes's acquaintances were perfectly unthoughtful.
I knew a couple freshman year in college who were just an absolute mess. I'd estimate 99% of the time they spent together was either drunk or high and neither of them seemed to particularly like the other one. It essentially devolved into a game of chicken who would dump the other first, with neither of them actually wanting to do it. So valentines day rolls around and the guy, clearly forgot he should probably get his girlfriend a gift until we reminded him that morning. He proceeds to get high instead of running to the store. She comes over and he has absolutely nothing to give her. So he looks around his room and just hands her a clock on his desk that he previously got as a graduation gift. However this wasn't just any clock, it was a fucking stripper clock. This isn't exactly it, but close enough.
Turns out that it was probably a good move to put so little effort into it, as she then proceeds to rummage around her in purse and pulled out a half eaten jar of Nutella as his gift. Which I am 90% sure he ended up eating at some point while high. No word on if the stripper clock was ever used.
Truly a match made in heaven.
5. AMontyPython had different ideas about the relationship.
6. pr0foak's friend's gift was wrong in multiple ways.
This wasn't a valentines day gift but it's a pretty great example of a gift gone wrong:
A friend of mine had been in a relationship with this girl for a few months when she went to work a summer job in British Columbia (we live in Ontario so this is the other side of the continent). He is a pretty messy guy and doesn't always think things through. His girlfriend is really into fresh produce so he thought it would be nice to send her some as a little surprise. So he went to the farmers market and got a few different types of fresh organic vegetables which he proceeded to send by mail. While he was putting the package together he found a pair of panties in his room behind his bed and thought he might as well return his girlfriend her underwear since he was already sending a package. So off the package goes. By regular post.
So a full two weeks later the package arrives and his girlfriend opens it. Inside she finds an assortment of rotting vegetables and a pair of panties that do not belong to her. Turns out my friend hadn't cleaned his room (or at least behind his bed) since he was seeing another woman. His girlfriend has no idea how to take this - is it some sort of message? They cleared things up in the end but I still like to bring this story up for a laugh now and then.
TLDR: Guy sent his girlfriend rotting vegetables and another woman's panties
7. raffagapro needs to clean out the closet more.
8. Shlong_Roy's girlfriend failed the delivery portion.
Girl I started dating a couple of months before Valentine's Day just got out of a long term relationship with her high school sweetheart. I didn't know she was still in contact with him when we were dating. She handed me a cute little bag with candy and a card. As I opened the card and read her pouring out her soul to her ex boyfriend about how much she still thinks about him and loves him. Evidently she made two gift bags. One for me and one for the ex and mixed them up.
9. To be fair, gfjq23's dad was listening.
My dad bought my mom a pencil sharpener one year for Valentine's Day. It was the only gift he ever bought her on that day.
My sister and I pestered him relentlessly saying it was weird he had never bought her a Valentine's Day gift, so he listened for what she wanted. She had been complaining that their pencil sharpener was junk, so he went out and bought this really nice electric one (this was in the late 80s, so actually a pricey gift). My mom was SO mad and so he never bought her another Valentine's Day gift again.
EDIT: I just wanted to say my mom isn't a jerk at all. She did apologize later. After 18 years and two kids he for the first time ever got her something on Valentine's Day. She was expecting some romantic gesture and instead got a pencil sharpener. We all think it is hilarious now, but at the time she was confused and a bit let down. She didn't handle it well, but such is life.
This year is their 45th anniversary, so it wasn't that big a deal. It's just a running family joke. Every year on their anniversary my dad gets my mom a rose for each year they have been married, so he's not totally unromantic. Though it costs him about $200+ these days for her massive rose bouquet.
10. RealAnthonyCamp missed the mark on the big first V-day gift.
I bought my wife a microwave for our first Valentine's day back in 2005...she had just moved into her new place and needed a microwave...not sure why everyone didn't see how thoughtful I was being
11. Swarleymon's gift could've been nice.
12. W00dzy87 made a serious attempt at romance.
I saved a patatoe in the freezer that was the perfect shape of a heart. I put it in there in June for February. When I got it out and proudly gave it to my wife it literally turned black and started leaking juices in front of her. In theory it was cute in practice it was like a death threat.
13. Dannzzor did not like this gift whatsoever.
14. AJM5K6 gives evidence that gag gifts are not good gifts.
In college there was a butcher on campus, near the ag department. It sold all sorts of meat at wholesale.
I bought my girlfriend Bacon for Valentines day. I loved her. I loved Bacon.
Skip to the end we broke up the following March.
Edit: Not going to answer as to which college it was.
Second Edit: I didn't add this before because what I did was dumb. She didn't like bacon. Apparently we had many conversations about it. She explained several times apparently, but I never remembered. I bought bacon as a gag gift because I had to move back home and I thought it would be funny. I was dumb. She was a great girlfriend and is still one of my closest friends.