life

<p>It&#39;s understandable that a bride or groom would want the most expensive party of their lives to be all about them.</p><p>But is one groom taking it too far by asking his transgender sister to dress in the gender she was assigned at birth, so that she doesn&#39;t upstage the couple on their special day? The groom <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mddtwu/aita_for_asking_my_sister_not_to_dress_in_a_way/">took to Reddit </a>to ask if his request was unreasonable. Here&#39;s the story.</p><h2>The man says his sister came out recently:</h2><blockquote> <p>Hi everyone. My sister came out to our immediate family and her friends as trans very recently. I support her and love her very much and she&#39;s gotten lots of support. She hasn&#39;t done any kind of medical transition yet, just bought new clothes and started growing her hair and learning to wear makeup and stuff.</p> </blockquote><h2>His sister wants to wear a dress to the wedding:</h2><blockquote> <p>My wedding is fast approaching (I live in a country with very few covid cases, don&#39;t worry). When my sister came out so close to the wedding she started talking about buying a dress to wear to the wedding.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The groom doesn&#39;t know if that&#39;s a great plan:</h2><blockquote> <p>I didn&#39;t think that was such a good idea because there are lots of people on my side of the family who she hasn&#39;t come out to and who wouldn&#39;t be supportive at all. There are also lots of very traditional people in my fiancee&#39;s family who would have a huge problem with it.</p> </blockquote><h2>He fears it&#39;ll upstage his wedding day:</h2><blockquote> <p>I don&#39;t want my whole wedding to be about my sister coming out to my extended family. Maybe that seems selfish, but I really think a wedding should be about the couple. I&#39;m also concerned about people being openly rude or even aggressive to her.</p> </blockquote><h2>He wants his sister to &quot;pretend to be a guy&quot;:</h2><blockquote> <p>I asked her to wear a suit and pretend to be a guy just for the wedding, and I explained why, and she was very upset. I do understand that it would suck to have to go back in the closet for a day, but I also think she hasn&#39;t thought about how much it would suck to have people staring at her and possibly harassing her for being trans for the whole day.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>He adds that he&#39;s nervous for his sister&#39;s safety:</h2><blockquote> <p>I don&#39;t think she really understands that it&#39;s as much about her safety as it is about not having huge dramas at my wedding.</p> </blockquote><h2>The people of the internet agree that while the groom&#39;s heart is in the right place, compromise is needed.</h2><p>Blacksteel15 says:</p><blockquote> <p>Your sister very reasonably doesn&#39;t want to have to pretend to be a man any more and you very reasonably don&#39;t want a (probably very expensive) event that is supposed to be about you and your partner derailed by something that is absolutely going to be an issue. I don&#39;t think either of those are s*****, it&#39;s just a s***** situation. If you want to support your sister, my suggestion would be for her to come out to the extended family before the wedding day and for you to make it clear that guests who are not willing to respect her are not welcome at your wedding.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>TheoryAddict has an idea:</p><blockquote> <p>And there are also fashionable female suites too! If she doesnt want to necessarily come out before the wedding but still wants to dress feminine, that is an idea? Its not as &#39;out there&#39; as a dress but still may help her feel more comfortable in a suit?</p> </blockquote><p>And psatz agrees:</p><blockquote> <p>That&#39;s what I thought, a womens suit and maybe some low key makeup to make her feel comfortable. Sisters wedding is not the best place to come out, but this way it might just be a controversy and not a full blown argument</p> </blockquote><p>CodenameBuckwin has some advice:</p><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m trans as well, and my mom really wanted her &quot;daughter&quot; to wear a dress for her wedding (mostly for the photos). I hate seeing her wedding photos, because I look so uncomfortable and I remember going along with it and wearing a skirt and blouse to make her happy.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>They continue:</p><blockquote> <p>Tbh now she wishes I&#39;d looked more like myself in those photos.</p> <p>You&#39;re going to have those photos the rest of your life. Do you really want your sister to look like somebody else in the photos?</p> </blockquote><p>Andstillthesunrises also had real-world experience:</p><blockquote> <p>Listen, I&rsquo;m a trans person and I recently attended a wedding dressed as my new gender rather than my assigned gender at birth. I was out to almost no one at the wedding. People who didn&rsquo;t know me were confused by me because I don&rsquo;t &ldquo;pass&rdquo; and they couldn&rsquo;t figure out how to categorize me in their minds people who did know me were surprised.</p> </blockquote><p>And they add:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>But if you think anyone spent the wedding dealing with me instead of the bride, groom, food, and dancing, you&rsquo;re seriously overestimating how much most people are going to care.</p> <p>That being said, I think it would be best for everyone if your sister came out in advance and transphobes could decide whether they want to come and shut up about it or stay home</p> </blockquote><p>But NinBonaryTram has a different perspective:</p><blockquote> <p>She&#39;s your sister, and you acting like other people&#39;s transphobia means she should hide who she is so you can have a fun wedding is the opposite of supporting her.</p> </blockquote><p>They continue:</p><blockquote> <p>She&#39;s right to be upset with you. It&#39;s about her safety? Why are you inviting people to your wedding that would harm your sister for being trans?</p> <p>You either accept that your sister is your sister even when it&#39;s inconvenient for you, or you don&#39;t respect her.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>And knittedjedi has a pertinent question:</p><blockquote> <p>How would you feel looking at these photos for the rest of your life, knowing that you caused pain to your sister by asking her to go back in the closet?</p> </blockquote><h2>So it&#39;s clearly a complicated situation. Hopefully this family figures it out!</h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Groom asks if he can tell trans sister to 'go back in the closet' for his wedding day

It&#39;s understandable that a bride or groom would want the most expensive party of their lives to be all about them.But is one groom taking it too far by asking his transgender sister to dress in the gender she was assigned at birth, so that she doesn&#39;t upstage the couple on their special day? The groom took to Reddit to ask if his request was unreasonable. Here&#39;s the story.The man says his sister came out recently: Hi everyone. My sister came out to our immediate family and her friends as trans very recently. I support her and love her very much and she&#39;s gotten lots of support. She hasn&#39;t done any kind of medical transition yet, just bought new clothes and started growing her hair and learning to wear makeup and stuff. His sister wants to wear a dress to the wedding: My wedding is fast approaching (I live in a country with very few covid cases, don&#39;t worry). When my sister came out so close to the wedding she started talking about buying a dress to wear to the wedding. The groom doesn&#39;t know if that&#39;s a great plan: I didn&#39;t think that was such a good idea because there are lots of people on my side of the family who she hasn&#39;t come out to and who wouldn&#39;t be supportive at all. There are also lots of very traditional people in my fiancee&#39;s family who would have a huge problem with it. He fears it&#39;ll upstage his wedding day: I don&#39;t want my whole wedding to be about my sister coming out to my extended family. Maybe that seems selfish, but I really think a wedding should be about the couple. I&#39;m also concerned about people being openly rude or even aggressive to her. He wants his sister to &quot;pretend to be a guy&quot;: I asked her to wear a suit and pretend to be a guy just for the wedding, and I explained why, and she was very upset. I do understand that it would suck to have to go back in the closet for a day, but I also think she hasn&#39;t thought about how much it would suck to have people staring at her and possibly harassing her for being trans for the whole day. He adds that he&#39;s nervous for his sister&#39;s safety: I don&#39;t think she really understands that it&#39;s as much about her safety as it is about not having huge dramas at my wedding. The people of the internet agree that while the groom&#39;s heart is in the right place, compromise is needed.Blacksteel15 says: Your sister very reasonably doesn&#39;t want to have to pretend to be a man any more and you very reasonably don&#39;t want a (probably very expensive) event that is supposed to be about you and your partner derailed by something that is absolutely going to be an issue. I don&#39;t think either of those are s*****, it&#39;s just a s***** situation. If you want to support your sister, my suggestion would be for her to come out to the extended family before the wedding day and for you to make it clear that guests who are not willing to respect her are not welcome at your wedding. TheoryAddict has an idea: And there are also fashionable female suites too! If she doesnt want to necessarily come out before the wedding but still wants to dress feminine, that is an idea? Its not as &#39;out there&#39; as a dress but still may help her feel more comfortable in a suit? And psatz agrees: That&#39;s what I thought, a womens suit and maybe some low key makeup to make her feel comfortable. Sisters wedding is not the best place to come out, but this way it might just be a controversy and not a full blown argument CodenameBuckwin has some advice: I&#39;m trans as well, and my mom really wanted her &quot;daughter&quot; to wear a dress for her wedding (mostly for the photos). I hate seeing her wedding photos, because I look so uncomfortable and I remember going along with it and wearing a skirt and blouse to make her happy. They continue: Tbh now she wishes I&#39;d looked more like myself in those photos. You&#39;re going to have those photos the rest of your life. Do you really want your sister to look like somebody else in the photos? Andstillthesunrises also had real-world experience: Listen, I&rsquo;m a trans person and I recently attended a wedding dressed as my new gender rather than my assigned gender at birth. I was out to almost no one at the wedding. People who didn&rsquo;t know me were confused by me because I don&rsquo;t &ldquo;pass&rdquo; and they couldn&rsquo;t figure out how to categorize me in their minds people who did know me were surprised. And they add: But if you think anyone spent the wedding dealing with me instead of the bride, groom, food, and dancing, you&rsquo;re seriously overestimating how much most people are going to care. That being said, I think it would be best for everyone if your sister came out in advance and transphobes could decide whether they want to come and shut up about it or stay home But NinBonaryTram has a different perspective: She&#39;s your sister, and you acting like other people&#39;s transphobia means she should hide who she is so you can have a fun wedding is the opposite of supporting her. They continue: She&#39;s right to be upset with you. It&#39;s about her safety? Why are you inviting people to your wedding that would harm your sister for being trans? You either accept that your sister is your sister even when it&#39;s inconvenient for you, or you don&#39;t respect her. And knittedjedi has a pertinent question: How would you feel looking at these photos for the rest of your life, knowing that you caused pain to your sister by asking her to go back in the closet? So it&#39;s clearly a complicated situation. Hopefully this family figures it out!

It&#39;s understandable that a bride or groom would want the most expensive party of their lives to be all about them.  But is one groom taking it too far by asking his transgender sister to dress in the gender she was assigned at birth,...