life

<p>Every family has different rules and expectations surrounding when kids should become independent. And one dad is asking whether he&#39;s an a-hole for expecting his daughter, who&#39;s a college student, to pay rent in order to live with him.</p><p>The dad <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/m2nv76/aita_for_telling_my_daughter_that_she_needs_to/">took to Reddit</a> to ask whether he was in the wrong. Here&#39;s his side of the story.</p><h2>The dad says his daughter was out on her own until three months ago:</h2><blockquote> <p>My daughter (24F) had to move back in with me and my wife three months ago. She used to live in her own apartment since she was 19, but unfortunate events caused her to terminate her lease.</p> </blockquote><h2>She&#39;s currently in college:</h2><blockquote> <p>Anyways, she&#39;s studying at a closeby university and working on her thesis. She&#39;s also employed as an assistant. And they pay her on an hourly basis (so she has to document her hours). But they only give her her salary at the end of each semester, which is basically a moderate lump sum.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>He&#39;s peeved that her payments don&#39;t enable her to pay rent each month:</h2><blockquote> <p>But the fact that she&#39;s not receiving a monthly income means that she&#39;s not able to pay me rent in due time. I get that she&#39;s still studying, and that she&#39;s my daughter, but I can&#39;t have a grown adult woman stay in my house rent free.</p> </blockquote><h2>He told her she needed a &quot;real job&quot;:</h2><blockquote> <p>So the other day I brought up the topic, and she said that she&#39;s trying her best, but that she&#39;s overwhelmed as is, juggling her assistant work and her studies. I was sort of annoyed at this, and told her that her assistant work isn&#39;t a real job, that her hours is lenient and that she needs to get a real job to cover her monthly rent or that she has to move out.</p> </blockquote><h2>His daughter was upset:</h2><blockquote> <p>She started crying, and said that it is a real job, and that the lump sum will be just enough to cover her rent and her student loan debt. But I&#39;m still not eager to sit and wait for her on her rent.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>His wife disagrees with his tactics:</h2><blockquote> <p>My wife overheard the conversation, and she&#39;s really upset with me now. She said that I&#39;m insensitive. My wife is usually at home, and she said that she can tell my daughter is overwhelmed. Apparently she&#39;s working till early ours in the morning, and only been getting an average 4-5 hours of sleep since she moved in with us. She has to submit her thesis soon, which is a major deadline (a month from now).</p> </blockquote><h2>He thinks maybe she&#39;s not that exhausted:</h2><blockquote> <p>My wife said &quot;It&#39;s not like she&#39;s loafing or wasting her time doing nothing or playing video games.&quot; My wife also told me that my daughters assistant work is a real job, and that she often works extra hours. Sometimes she&#39;ll get called in for nonsensical reasons. But that she never heard my daughter complain about it... but that her exhaustion is quite obvious. Well, apparently it&#39;s not THAT obvious. If it was, why didn&#39;t I pick up on it?</p> <p>But my wife is ignoring me now, and I&#39;m starting to wonder... [Am I the a-hole] here?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The people of Reddit agree: this dad is an a-hole to say the least.</h2><p>From EricaCampbellFan:</p><blockquote> <p>[You&#39;re the a-hole] you didn&rsquo;t pick up on it because you an insensitive a**hole who sees his daughter as a money source and not his child, and honestly, if you don&rsquo;t pull your head from that dark hole it&rsquo;s in, then you&rsquo;ll be lucky to even have a daughter or wife</p> </blockquote><p>And wineshivers agrees:</p><blockquote> <p>I was expecting to read about some deadbeat daughter who can&rsquo;t be bothered to work or study at all. But it sounds like your daughter is doing her best (and her best seems pretty fucking good) and you should be proud of her, not degrade her and her work. You should be ashamed of yourself.</p> </blockquote><p>They continue:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Unless that money is all that&rsquo;s keeping you from the homeless shelter, you should really shut your mouth about it. Oh, and exhaustion and burnout is pretty noticeable if you pay attention to someone at all. Especially someone you live with. Sounds like you need to really examine your attitude.</p> </blockquote><p>ADrenalineDiet says:</p><blockquote> <p>A thesis by itself is a full time job, and it sounds like her assistant work is full time hours on top of that. She&#39;s likely working harder than you ever have.</p> </blockquote><p>rosegoldhiips makes a great point:</p><blockquote> <p>&quot;But I can&#39;t have a grown adult woman stay in my house, rent free&quot; Why can&#39;t you? You literally had that same exact person in your house staying rent free for almost 20 years, what&#39;s the issue now? I was your daughters age when I had to live with my dad and he didn&#39;t charge me rent. I gave him what I could, when I could anyway which sounds like what your daughter is doing.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>They continue:</p><blockquote> <p>[You&#39;re the a-hole] and you should be nicer to your kid who&#39;s probably stressing about both work and school. School and work isn&#39;t like how it was in the 80s and 90s. It&#39;s harder and more stressful. Be fucking kind, man.</p> </blockquote><p>And Lysa_Bell explains it for him:</p><blockquote> <p>he is your daughter. You should support her and not put more on her plate when she is already working and studying. Lots of people have to live with their parents long into their adulthood because it is too expensive nowadays. Let her study in peace and try to be more compassionate. You don&#39;t just stop being a parent and support your child because they are &quot;adults&quot;. You chose to have a child and you will have to be there for them their whole life.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>So there you have it. Chill out, dad!</h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Dad asks if he was wrong for telling daughter, 24, to 'get a real job or move out.'

Every family has different rules and expectations surrounding when kids should become independent. And one dad is asking whether he&#39;s an a-hole for expecting his daughter, who&#39;s a college student, to pay rent in order to live with him.The dad took to Reddit to ask whether he was in the wrong. Here&#39;s his side of the story.The dad says his daughter was out on her own until three months ago: My daughter (24F) had to move back in with me and my wife three months ago. She used to live in her own apartment since she was 19, but unfortunate events caused her to terminate her lease. She&#39;s currently in college: Anyways, she&#39;s studying at a closeby university and working on her thesis. She&#39;s also employed as an assistant. And they pay her on an hourly basis (so she has to document her hours). But they only give her her salary at the end of each semester, which is basically a moderate lump sum. He&#39;s peeved that her payments don&#39;t enable her to pay rent each month: But the fact that she&#39;s not receiving a monthly income means that she&#39;s not able to pay me rent in due time. I get that she&#39;s still studying, and that she&#39;s my daughter, but I can&#39;t have a grown adult woman stay in my house rent free. He told her she needed a &quot;real job&quot;: So the other day I brought up the topic, and she said that she&#39;s trying her best, but that she&#39;s overwhelmed as is, juggling her assistant work and her studies. I was sort of annoyed at this, and told her that her assistant work isn&#39;t a real job, that her hours is lenient and that she needs to get a real job to cover her monthly rent or that she has to move out. His daughter was upset: She started crying, and said that it is a real job, and that the lump sum will be just enough to cover her rent and her student loan debt. But I&#39;m still not eager to sit and wait for her on her rent. His wife disagrees with his tactics: My wife overheard the conversation, and she&#39;s really upset with me now. She said that I&#39;m insensitive. My wife is usually at home, and she said that she can tell my daughter is overwhelmed. Apparently she&#39;s working till early ours in the morning, and only been getting an average 4-5 hours of sleep since she moved in with us. She has to submit her thesis soon, which is a major deadline (a month from now). He thinks maybe she&#39;s not that exhausted: My wife said &quot;It&#39;s not like she&#39;s loafing or wasting her time doing nothing or playing video games.&quot; My wife also told me that my daughters assistant work is a real job, and that she often works extra hours. Sometimes she&#39;ll get called in for nonsensical reasons. But that she never heard my daughter complain about it... but that her exhaustion is quite obvious. Well, apparently it&#39;s not THAT obvious. If it was, why didn&#39;t I pick up on it? But my wife is ignoring me now, and I&#39;m starting to wonder... [Am I the a-hole] here? The people of Reddit agree: this dad is an a-hole to say the least.From EricaCampbellFan: [You&#39;re the a-hole] you didn&rsquo;t pick up on it because you an insensitive a**hole who sees his daughter as a money source and not his child, and honestly, if you don&rsquo;t pull your head from that dark hole it&rsquo;s in, then you&rsquo;ll be lucky to even have a daughter or wife And wineshivers agrees: I was expecting to read about some deadbeat daughter who can&rsquo;t be bothered to work or study at all. But it sounds like your daughter is doing her best (and her best seems pretty fucking good) and you should be proud of her, not degrade her and her work. You should be ashamed of yourself. They continue: Unless that money is all that&rsquo;s keeping you from the homeless shelter, you should really shut your mouth about it. Oh, and exhaustion and burnout is pretty noticeable if you pay attention to someone at all. Especially someone you live with. Sounds like you need to really examine your attitude. ADrenalineDiet says: A thesis by itself is a full time job, and it sounds like her assistant work is full time hours on top of that. She&#39;s likely working harder than you ever have. rosegoldhiips makes a great point: &quot;But I can&#39;t have a grown adult woman stay in my house, rent free&quot; Why can&#39;t you? You literally had that same exact person in your house staying rent free for almost 20 years, what&#39;s the issue now? I was your daughters age when I had to live with my dad and he didn&#39;t charge me rent. I gave him what I could, when I could anyway which sounds like what your daughter is doing. They continue: [You&#39;re the a-hole] and you should be nicer to your kid who&#39;s probably stressing about both work and school. School and work isn&#39;t like how it was in the 80s and 90s. It&#39;s harder and more stressful. Be fucking kind, man. And Lysa_Bell explains it for him: he is your daughter. You should support her and not put more on her plate when she is already working and studying. Lots of people have to live with their parents long into their adulthood because it is too expensive nowadays. Let her study in peace and try to be more compassionate. You don&#39;t just stop being a parent and support your child because they are &quot;adults&quot;. You chose to have a child and you will have to be there for them their whole life. So there you have it. Chill out, dad!

Every family has different rules and expectations surrounding when kids should become independent. And one dad is asking whether he&#39;s an a-hole for expecting his daughter, who&#39;s a college student, to pay rent in order to live with...