life

<p>We all know teachers are their own people outside of the classroom. But what happens when their real lives and their professional lives converge?</p><p>In the case of one woman, nothing good.</p><p>A kindergarten teacher <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jbfyui/aita_for_cussing_and_getting_drunk_in_front_of_my/">has taken to Reddit</a> to find out if she was in the wrong for continuing to live her life &mdash; as in, drink and curse &mdash; when she knew some of her young students were nearby with their families. Here&#39;s her story.</p><h2>The teacher says she went out for her birthday last weekend:</h2><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m a kindergarten teacher. I teach in person classes that are socially distanced, as well as online classes. Last weekend was my (27f) birthday. I went to a restaurant with a couple friends for outdoor dining. While we were there, two moms come in with their children and are seated behind me. I recognize them as students in my in-person class. They say hi to me, and I say hi back, but then don&#39;t interact further.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>She celebrated with her friends despite her students being nearby:</h2><blockquote> <p>Through dinner, I&#39;m just enjoying my time with my friends. I have a few glasses of wine and get a little tipsy (not rowdy or obnoxious or anything). I&#39;m conversing normally with my friends, occasionally using cuss words like &quot;f***&quot; or &quot;s***&quot; or &quot;damn.&quot; Not excessively, just the way some people would in every day conversation. Maybe a little more than I would have if I were not tipsy, but again, I&#39;m not speaking loudly or anything. Just having normal conversations with my friends.</p> </blockquote><h2>Then, a mom came over:</h2><blockquote> <p>One of the moms then comes over to me and reminds me that my students were there, and that I shouldn&#39;t be drinking and cursing in front of them. Since I&#39;m their teacher, it was my job to set a good example to them. I just told her I was off the clock and that if it was bothering her, she could move or stop listening to me. She got all huffy, and they soon left.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>When school started again, the principal called this teacher into his office:</h2><blockquote> <p>Earlier this week, I was called down by the principal who was with that mom in his office. She was angry and complained that I was setting a bad example for my students. And now her daughter was using some of the same words I was using, saying that if her teacher can say it, so can she. He asked for my side of the story, and I just explained exactly what happened. Given that she verified my story, he told her that I was not their teacher at the time, and since I wasn&#39;t doing anything wrong, they couldn&#39;t control my behavior off the clock.</p> </blockquote><h2>The parent is still angry:</h2><blockquote> <p>She protested a bit, but eventually left, but called me a terrible teacher. I thanked the principal for backing me up, but then he suggested maybe that one time I should have just stopped drinking and using foul language. I really didn&#39;t think this was a problem, since wasn&#39;t acting out. Just talking casually and enjoying a couple glasses of wine. But am I really the a**hole for drinking and using foul language in front of my students while off the clock?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>She adds that she doesn&#39;t think she was that out of hand:</h2><blockquote> <p>I was not loud or belligerent or excessively drunk. I had two glasses of wine. And when I say I was tipsy, that&#39;s a bit of an exaggeration. It takes more than two glasses of wine for me to start feeling anything. I wasn&#39;t screaming obscenities. I was just using slightly foul language in casual conversation (e.g. &quot;The news is s***.&quot; &quot;It&#39;s too damn hot to be fall. &quot;)</p> </blockquote><h2>The people of the internet are divided on this one.</h2><p>User noraya_bo says the parent&#39;s request is out of line:</p><blockquote> <p>They can&#39;t expect you to be the teacher 24/7.</p> <p>Also it&#39;s a nice teachable moment the mothers could have used, but chose not to.</p> <p>Words don&#39;t have power, unless you give them power. &quot;F***&quot; is just a 4 letter word, no different than &quot;ball&quot;.</p> <p>Teachers are people, too.</p> </blockquote><p>But user symphony789 says modifying your behavior as a teacher comes with the territory:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Eh, but I can say as a teacher, one of the things they warn you in college and at orientation for a job is that you do represent the school. Technically, because she said hi to them, that means she&#39;s recognizing them as students and is representing the school by default (arguably). It&#39;s a gray area that&#39;s always worried me because I&#39;m young and teach high school, but as long as I don&#39;t go viral, wear school apparel, or is during school hours they cant do anything.</p> </blockquote><p>They continue:</p><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m also going to assume if they heard the cussing then it wasn&#39;t quiet or anything and most likely was loud. Restaurants even with covid and social distancing are generally loud, so to be able to hear that would mean she probably was which in general isn&#39;t a great look. [...] Unfortunately, this mom will most definitely tell other moms in the area about this encounter and it won&#39;t be a great look. Again, I&#39;m not saying I agree with it, its just the reality of it.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>And piezombi3 thinks everyone involved is being unreasonable:</p><blockquote> <p>As someone with experience in the teaching, I think [everyone sucks here].</p> <p>Sure, you weren&#39;t on the clock, but you have to understand that they were people related to your work. If I saw my boss and his kids at a restaurant and got drunk and started cussing, I&#39;d expect a meeting the next day.</p> </blockquote><p>They continue:</p><blockquote> <p>At the same time though, there isn&#39;t really anything wrong with cussing and it&#39;s the moms job to parent the kid anyway. You can do what you want when you&#39;re off the clock.</p> <p>Just don&#39;t be surprised if this comes back to bite you again in the future. Be more aware of social expectations associated with your job.</p> </blockquote><p>FuzzyKitKat thinks the teacher was in the wrong:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>The professional thing to do would have been to stop swearing, move tables so you&#39;re out of sight/hearing of the students, or gone to a different bar to finish up the night. Kids don&#39;t understand what &quot;off the clock&quot; means, and you&#39;re just as much their teacher in the classroom as you are outside of it, in their eyes.</p> </blockquote><p>But GunslingerLovely counters:</p><blockquote> <p>if the parents had a problem they should have moved especially since they were seated after. Its a lot easier to ask a server to be seated somewhere else before you sit down then to have been seated, have a bill, then ask a whole table to move(it also seems like OP had a group while the mom had only. few).</p> </blockquote><p>They continue:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Also it seems a bit a**holey of the parent to expect the person to change their behaviour when they could have been seated somewhere else themselves. It seems like the parent is entitled especially since they went to the principle to complain about it when there seemed to be such an easy resolution.</p> </blockquote><p>Mealteamsixtey, though, comes down on the side of the parent and kids:</p><blockquote> <p>I have a school age kid, and they IDOLIZE their teachers. I honestly can&#39;t imagine trying to explain their teacher, especially kindergarten, using &quot;bad&quot; words in front of them. The drinking wouldn&#39;t matter so much, unless you were much drunker than you thought. I would never have contacted your boss about it, but you probably should watch your mouth around small children, even if you weren&#39;t a teacher.</p> </blockquote><h2>So there&#39;s no real concrete answer for this one.</h2><p>But suffice it ot say, if you&#39;re a teacher and you don&#39;t want parents to go tell the principal on you, you probably shouldn&#39;t curse in front of kids. It sucks, but that&#39;s the way it is.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Teacher asks if she was wrong to swear even though students were at same restaurant.

We all know teachers are their own people outside of the classroom. But what happens when their real lives and their professional lives converge?In the case of one woman, nothing good.A kindergarten teacher has taken to Reddit to find out if she was in the wrong for continuing to live her life &mdash; as in, drink and curse &mdash; when she knew some of her young students were nearby with their families. Here&#39;s her story.The teacher says she went out for her birthday last weekend: I&#39;m a kindergarten teacher. I teach in person classes that are socially distanced, as well as online classes. Last weekend was my (27f) birthday. I went to a restaurant with a couple friends for outdoor dining. While we were there, two moms come in with their children and are seated behind me. I recognize them as students in my in-person class. They say hi to me, and I say hi back, but then don&#39;t interact further. She celebrated with her friends despite her students being nearby: Through dinner, I&#39;m just enjoying my time with my friends. I have a few glasses of wine and get a little tipsy (not rowdy or obnoxious or anything). I&#39;m conversing normally with my friends, occasionally using cuss words like &quot;f***&quot; or &quot;s***&quot; or &quot;damn.&quot; Not excessively, just the way some people would in every day conversation. Maybe a little more than I would have if I were not tipsy, but again, I&#39;m not speaking loudly or anything. Just having normal conversations with my friends. Then, a mom came over: One of the moms then comes over to me and reminds me that my students were there, and that I shouldn&#39;t be drinking and cursing in front of them. Since I&#39;m their teacher, it was my job to set a good example to them. I just told her I was off the clock and that if it was bothering her, she could move or stop listening to me. She got all huffy, and they soon left. When school started again, the principal called this teacher into his office: Earlier this week, I was called down by the principal who was with that mom in his office. She was angry and complained that I was setting a bad example for my students. And now her daughter was using some of the same words I was using, saying that if her teacher can say it, so can she. He asked for my side of the story, and I just explained exactly what happened. Given that she verified my story, he told her that I was not their teacher at the time, and since I wasn&#39;t doing anything wrong, they couldn&#39;t control my behavior off the clock. The parent is still angry: She protested a bit, but eventually left, but called me a terrible teacher. I thanked the principal for backing me up, but then he suggested maybe that one time I should have just stopped drinking and using foul language. I really didn&#39;t think this was a problem, since wasn&#39;t acting out. Just talking casually and enjoying a couple glasses of wine. But am I really the a**hole for drinking and using foul language in front of my students while off the clock? She adds that she doesn&#39;t think she was that out of hand: I was not loud or belligerent or excessively drunk. I had two glasses of wine. And when I say I was tipsy, that&#39;s a bit of an exaggeration. It takes more than two glasses of wine for me to start feeling anything. I wasn&#39;t screaming obscenities. I was just using slightly foul language in casual conversation (e.g. &quot;The news is s***.&quot; &quot;It&#39;s too damn hot to be fall. &quot;) The people of the internet are divided on this one.User noraya_bo says the parent&#39;s request is out of line: They can&#39;t expect you to be the teacher 24/7. Also it&#39;s a nice teachable moment the mothers could have used, but chose not to. Words don&#39;t have power, unless you give them power. &quot;F***&quot; is just a 4 letter word, no different than &quot;ball&quot;. Teachers are people, too. But user symphony789 says modifying your behavior as a teacher comes with the territory: Eh, but I can say as a teacher, one of the things they warn you in college and at orientation for a job is that you do represent the school. Technically, because she said hi to them, that means she&#39;s recognizing them as students and is representing the school by default (arguably). It&#39;s a gray area that&#39;s always worried me because I&#39;m young and teach high school, but as long as I don&#39;t go viral, wear school apparel, or is during school hours they cant do anything. They continue: I&#39;m also going to assume if they heard the cussing then it wasn&#39;t quiet or anything and most likely was loud. Restaurants even with covid and social distancing are generally loud, so to be able to hear that would mean she probably was which in general isn&#39;t a great look. [...] Unfortunately, this mom will most definitely tell other moms in the area about this encounter and it won&#39;t be a great look. Again, I&#39;m not saying I agree with it, its just the reality of it. And piezombi3 thinks everyone involved is being unreasonable: As someone with experience in the teaching, I think [everyone sucks here]. Sure, you weren&#39;t on the clock, but you have to understand that they were people related to your work. If I saw my boss and his kids at a restaurant and got drunk and started cussing, I&#39;d expect a meeting the next day. They continue: At the same time though, there isn&#39;t really anything wrong with cussing and it&#39;s the moms job to parent the kid anyway. You can do what you want when you&#39;re off the clock. Just don&#39;t be surprised if this comes back to bite you again in the future. Be more aware of social expectations associated with your job. FuzzyKitKat thinks the teacher was in the wrong: The professional thing to do would have been to stop swearing, move tables so you&#39;re out of sight/hearing of the students, or gone to a different bar to finish up the night. Kids don&#39;t understand what &quot;off the clock&quot; means, and you&#39;re just as much their teacher in the classroom as you are outside of it, in their eyes. But GunslingerLovely counters: if the parents had a problem they should have moved especially since they were seated after. Its a lot easier to ask a server to be seated somewhere else before you sit down then to have been seated, have a bill, then ask a whole table to move(it also seems like OP had a group while the mom had only. few). They continue: Also it seems a bit a**holey of the parent to expect the person to change their behaviour when they could have been seated somewhere else themselves. It seems like the parent is entitled especially since they went to the principle to complain about it when there seemed to be such an easy resolution. Mealteamsixtey, though, comes down on the side of the parent and kids: I have a school age kid, and they IDOLIZE their teachers. I honestly can&#39;t imagine trying to explain their teacher, especially kindergarten, using &quot;bad&quot; words in front of them. The drinking wouldn&#39;t matter so much, unless you were much drunker than you thought. I would never have contacted your boss about it, but you probably should watch your mouth around small children, even if you weren&#39;t a teacher. So there&#39;s no real concrete answer for this one.But suffice it ot say, if you&#39;re a teacher and you don&#39;t want parents to go tell the principal on you, you probably shouldn&#39;t curse in front of kids. It sucks, but that&#39;s the way it is.

We all know teachers are their own people outside of the classroom. But what happens when their real lives and their professional lives converge?  In the case of one woman, nothing good.  A kindergarten teacher has taken to Reddit to find...