Guy asks if he's wrong for 'testing' girlfriend by replacing her expensive shampoo.

We've all got at least one thing we splurge on that other people might find stupid or wasteful. The question is: is it anyone else's business?

One guy is in the doghouse after he took it upon himself to throw out his girlfriend's pricey shampoo and replace it with cheap drugstore stuff. Now he's asking the people of the internet: is he the a-hole or is she?

The guy says he's been banned from using her nice shampoo and conditioner:

My (27M) girlfriend (25F) is really into what she calls “self-care.” We don’t live together but I spend the night at her place and have to shower there before work a lot. Whenever I shower there she asks me not to use her shampoo and conditioner and to use the other ones in the shower.

He was shocked to find that it costs $32:

I thought this was weird and asked her why the other day. She told me she buys custom shampoo! I looked it up and it costs $32 to order!! I think that is such a waste of money and told her that. I’ve used the stuff and it isn’t any different from any other shampoo. I feel like she’s being scammed and is just wasting her money on vanity.

His girlfriend insists the shampoo's worth it, so he decided to 'prank her' (his words, not ours) by throwing it out:

She doesn’t agree and I wanted to help her see what I mean. I bought shampoo and conditioner the same color from the brand my mom uses (I think it’s called VO5) and replaced the stuff in her bottles.

He revealed that she'd been washing her hair with $3 stuff and she kicked him out:

After she showered the other day, I told her how nice her hair looked. She responded “that’s why I use my custom shampoo.” So she proved my point! I told her what I did and she freaked out just because I threw her stuff away and helped her save money.

She told me to leave and got really upset and said I made her feel dumb. Now she texted me that she has to reconsider if I’m emotionally mature enough for her.

He dug himself into an even deeper hole but asserting that she's 'being crazy':

She’s being crazy but am I an a**hole? What does shampoo have to do with emotional maturity? [...] the bottles were already almost empty so i didn't even throw that much away

The people of Reddit agree that he messed up big time.

Warm-Mongoose really took him to the cleaners:

You sound like the kind of guy that uses 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner and body wash.

“What does shampoo have to do with emotional maturity?” It’s not about the shampoo.

You were so desperate to prove that she was being ‘dumb’ that you poured out and wasted the shampoo and conditioner, directly undermining your own point. Are you 5 years old? What could you possibly have to gain by doing this? You destroyed something that your girlfriend enjoyed and spent her own money on just to feel superior.

Not to mention, a lot of people drop big bucks on shampoo and conditioner:

Also, $32 is not that much for shampoo and conditioner, that’s $16 for each one, there’s way pricier stuff on the market. She could have a very good reason for not using cheap shampoo.

Textured hair, colored hair, chemically treated hair or certain medical conditions all require different treatments and some products could actually ruin her hair if that’s the case. All she asked you to do was not use it when you showered and you couldn’t even do that. You obviously don’t respect your girlfriend. Taking care of yourself like an adult isn’t being “vain.”

And V05, seriously? I wouldn’t use that crap on my dog.

The-beast5641 defended the honor of expensive shampoo users:

You want to talk about wasting money? Then you pour shampoo and conditioner out? Good one. Also, her not noticing a difference after using it once doesn’t “prove your point,” which shows that you know even less about self care than I initially thought you did.

It’s about the long term effects of using quality products over cheap products. Long term, it’ll dry out your hair or skin, or take any dyed color away, and eventually make her hair more fragile as well.

Let people use and enjoy the things they want, and leave her be.

Cricketmai pointed out that even if the shampoo was a scam, it was her scam and it made her happy (but FYI, expensive shampoo is not a scam):

how she spends her money is her business, as well as how she takes care of herself. also, YOU wasted her money by throwing her products away. you seem very controlling and she’s right to wonder if you’re mature enough for her. [Also,] calling her crazy is not a good look. you don’t respect your girlfriend, why are you with her?

And supagirl277 pointed out that it takes time for the effects of bad shampoo to creep up:

You also can’t tell the difference of a new shampoo after only one wash, and he probably didn’t even have a reason to tell her her hair looked nice other than to try to prove the cheaper one was better. That is a super nice priced shampoo. Like, it’s also only shampoo. It’s not like she spends hundreds a month on vanity stuff.

Kalkiki pointed out the elephant in the room: everyone deserves better than VO5.

I would lose my absolute shit if somebody replaced my shampoo with VO5. Do you have any idea how bad that crap is for your hair?? Moreover it’s her money and her self care. She can do as she pleases.

The boyfriend ended up posting an update that made it clear he'd learned his lesson.

He realized the error of his ways when he saw the kinds of guys who applauded him for what he did:

I've gotten messages from incel type dudes supporting me and telling me I did the right thing. They used vulgar, gross and demeaning language to talk about my girlfriend. If that's the kind of person my actions are resonating with, I am more than willing to accept that I was a major a**hole and owe my girlfriend a humongous apology.

That really showed me how stubborn I was being over such a petty thing and it should not have come to this point. I didn't consider the deeper implications and the way she would feel, you guys really helped me understand the magnitude of what I did. I'm embarrassed and I'm sorry. Thank you for your insightful and mostly kindhearted responses.