life

<p>When your co-parent isn&#39;t holding up their end of the bargain, is it okay to pick up and leave?</p><p>That&#39;s what one woman is asking, after she packed a bag and left her family behind to show her husband how overwhelmed she is with childcare. She <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kusiba/aita_for_walking_out_on_husband_and_babies/">took to Reddit</a> to find out if she took it too far and went into a-hole territory.</p><h2>She says she&#39;s a stay-at-home mom right now:</h2><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;m (35F) probably the a**hole but my god I am exhausted.</p> <p>I&rsquo;m a stay at home mom to my daughter (2) and son (4 months). I&rsquo;m a preschool teacher and it didn&rsquo;t make sense to go back to work with the cost of childcare and pandemic risk. My husband works and makes enough to support us, and all my salary would end up going to child care.</p> </blockquote><h2>Her husband seems to like his job:</h2><blockquote> <p>We have separate accounts (his idea) and a joint household account that he puts money into. I contributed to this account when I was working.</p> <p>He works from home, 9-5 desk job that isn&rsquo;t stressful (he admits it&rsquo;s a &ldquo;cupcake job&rdquo;), has weekends and nights off, and takes vacation days. He likes his coworkers and often I hear him joking around on calls to them. I love that he loves his job.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>But he doesn&#39;t help much in the house:</h2><blockquote> <p>The problem is that once he&rsquo;s done working he&rsquo;s done with everything. He will occasionally play with the kids or fix himself a sandwich but otherwise he&rsquo;s playing games or reading or watching something. He works out as well in the home gym but there&rsquo;s nothing pressing on his time.</p> </blockquote><h2>And the woman is left with everything else:</h2><blockquote> <p>Meanwhile I cook, clean, make toddlers special diet (no dairy or gluten due to allergies), I breast feed on demand, walk and train the dog (love the dog but he&rsquo;s a Burmese mt dog and poops like a grown man), as well as do all the upkeep/shopping that comes with running a house.</p> <p>I&rsquo;m just tired. I&rsquo;m so tired. And when I ask for help he just stares at me blankly until I go away.</p> </blockquote><h2>She&#39;s had enough:</h2><blockquote> <p>Yesterday I snapped. The kids were crying, the dog shit on the rug (he&rsquo;s a puppy), and he&rsquo;s reading his tablet and tells me &ldquo;babe it smells in here).</p> <p>I made sure that there was pumped breast milk and clean bottles, that dog food was out and the toddler had enough food for a few days and I just left.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Now she&#39;s not answering the phone:</h2><blockquote> <p>I haven&rsquo;t picked up the phone just to text him when they need to eat/bedtime schedule and I just realized that he has no idea how to keep the kids alive. I want to send my mom over but I feel like that&rsquo;s rewarding him. Idk.</p> </blockquote><h2>She&#39;s wondering if she went too far:</h2><blockquote> <p>I got a hotel room for two days. I took a bath! I read a book and watched Netflix and honestly I don&rsquo;t want to go back. I miss the kiddos a ton, and the dog, but I don&rsquo;t miss him. His family is calling me nonstop telling me I&rsquo;m a bad wife/mom and his mother is flying in from Florida since I&rsquo;m &ldquo;having some sort of breakdown&rdquo;. I don&rsquo;t want her here but I don&rsquo;t know what to do. I&rsquo;m just so tired.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The people of Reddit agree that while she&#39;s justified in feeling overwhelmed.</h2><p>Thia-M thinks there&#39;s more to this than she realizes:</p><blockquote> <p>Honey, and I say this with love, you do sound like you are in the middle of a breakdown. There is no shame in that. Take care of you, take that bath, make sure someone knows you are OK. Take the time you need. When you do go home, you have got to have an honest conversation with your husband that he needs to step up. Maybe go to couples counseling so someone outside of this can help him hear you. But you take care of you right now.</p> <p>I know I&#39;m a random stranger, but I&#39;m sending you so many hugs.</p> </blockquote><p>And throwawaywife72 agrees:</p><blockquote> <p><br /> I&rsquo;m sending so many hugs. I hope your husband gets his s*** together. Because this isn&rsquo;t a &ldquo;mental breakdown&rdquo; because you&rsquo;re just a woman, this is a breakdown because your husband isn&rsquo;t doing his duties as a dad and father. And don&rsquo;t let that point be forgotten.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Diavolosthot thinks this doesn&#39;t bode well for the future of their marriage:</p><blockquote> <p>You need to sit down with your husband and have a serious conversation about working as a team. Those are his kids too and he needs to take care of them smh. Parenting classes/couples counseling should also be an option.</p> <p>Honestly he sounds like a deadbeat though, as a father at least, and you should probably leave for good.</p> </blockquote><p>ComfortableZebra2412 agrees that she did what she had t odo:</p><blockquote> <p> sounds like you got overwhelmed and snapped it&#39;s not great but you left them with everything needed, it may be th wake up call needed for you and your husband. Therapy and an even time with chores/ kids is needed. Sounds like you get no free time and he gets alot of free time. After work he needs to do 50/50</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Ohcrumbcakes sums it up:</p><blockquote> <p>During his work hours he is 100% work and you are 100% kids/house. That part is fair.</p> <p>Outside of those hours kids/house should be 50% you and 50% him.</p> <p>He is not doing his share. It&rsquo;s understandable that you are at a breaking point. While he gets his evenings, weekends and early mornings to relax.... you&rsquo;re still working non-stop.</p> <p>That is NOT ok. I hope you sit him down after this and explain that is absolutely needs to change. Good luck OP!</p> </blockquote><p> </p><h2>So there you go. If your partner&#39;s as lazy as this dad, all bets are off.</h2><p>Hope this mom gets the rest she needs.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Mom asks if she's wrong for 'walking out' on husband and babies, checking into a hotel.

When your co-parent isn&#39;t holding up their end of the bargain, is it okay to pick up and leave?That&#39;s what one woman is asking, after she packed a bag and left her family behind to show her husband how overwhelmed she is with childcare. She took to Reddit to find out if she took it too far and went into a-hole territory.She says she&#39;s a stay-at-home mom right now: I&rsquo;m (35F) probably the a**hole but my god I am exhausted. I&rsquo;m a stay at home mom to my daughter (2) and son (4 months). I&rsquo;m a preschool teacher and it didn&rsquo;t make sense to go back to work with the cost of childcare and pandemic risk. My husband works and makes enough to support us, and all my salary would end up going to child care. Her husband seems to like his job: We have separate accounts (his idea) and a joint household account that he puts money into. I contributed to this account when I was working. He works from home, 9-5 desk job that isn&rsquo;t stressful (he admits it&rsquo;s a &ldquo;cupcake job&rdquo;), has weekends and nights off, and takes vacation days. He likes his coworkers and often I hear him joking around on calls to them. I love that he loves his job. But he doesn&#39;t help much in the house: The problem is that once he&rsquo;s done working he&rsquo;s done with everything. He will occasionally play with the kids or fix himself a sandwich but otherwise he&rsquo;s playing games or reading or watching something. He works out as well in the home gym but there&rsquo;s nothing pressing on his time. And the woman is left with everything else: Meanwhile I cook, clean, make toddlers special diet (no dairy or gluten due to allergies), I breast feed on demand, walk and train the dog (love the dog but he&rsquo;s a Burmese mt dog and poops like a grown man), as well as do all the upkeep/shopping that comes with running a house. I&rsquo;m just tired. I&rsquo;m so tired. And when I ask for help he just stares at me blankly until I go away. She&#39;s had enough: Yesterday I snapped. The kids were crying, the dog shit on the rug (he&rsquo;s a puppy), and he&rsquo;s reading his tablet and tells me &ldquo;babe it smells in here). I made sure that there was pumped breast milk and clean bottles, that dog food was out and the toddler had enough food for a few days and I just left. Now she&#39;s not answering the phone: I haven&rsquo;t picked up the phone just to text him when they need to eat/bedtime schedule and I just realized that he has no idea how to keep the kids alive. I want to send my mom over but I feel like that&rsquo;s rewarding him. Idk. She&#39;s wondering if she went too far: I got a hotel room for two days. I took a bath! I read a book and watched Netflix and honestly I don&rsquo;t want to go back. I miss the kiddos a ton, and the dog, but I don&rsquo;t miss him. His family is calling me nonstop telling me I&rsquo;m a bad wife/mom and his mother is flying in from Florida since I&rsquo;m &ldquo;having some sort of breakdown&rdquo;. I don&rsquo;t want her here but I don&rsquo;t know what to do. I&rsquo;m just so tired. The people of Reddit agree that while she&#39;s justified in feeling overwhelmed.Thia-M thinks there&#39;s more to this than she realizes: Honey, and I say this with love, you do sound like you are in the middle of a breakdown. There is no shame in that. Take care of you, take that bath, make sure someone knows you are OK. Take the time you need. When you do go home, you have got to have an honest conversation with your husband that he needs to step up. Maybe go to couples counseling so someone outside of this can help him hear you. But you take care of you right now. I know I&#39;m a random stranger, but I&#39;m sending you so many hugs. And throwawaywife72 agrees:  I&rsquo;m sending so many hugs. I hope your husband gets his s*** together. Because this isn&rsquo;t a &ldquo;mental breakdown&rdquo; because you&rsquo;re just a woman, this is a breakdown because your husband isn&rsquo;t doing his duties as a dad and father. And don&rsquo;t let that point be forgotten. Diavolosthot thinks this doesn&#39;t bode well for the future of their marriage: You need to sit down with your husband and have a serious conversation about working as a team. Those are his kids too and he needs to take care of them smh. Parenting classes/couples counseling should also be an option. Honestly he sounds like a deadbeat though, as a father at least, and you should probably leave for good. ComfortableZebra2412 agrees that she did what she had t odo:  sounds like you got overwhelmed and snapped it&#39;s not great but you left them with everything needed, it may be th wake up call needed for you and your husband. Therapy and an even time with chores/ kids is needed. Sounds like you get no free time and he gets alot of free time. After work he needs to do 50/50 Ohcrumbcakes sums it up: During his work hours he is 100% work and you are 100% kids/house. That part is fair. Outside of those hours kids/house should be 50% you and 50% him. He is not doing his share. It&rsquo;s understandable that you are at a breaking point. While he gets his evenings, weekends and early mornings to relax.... you&rsquo;re still working non-stop. That is NOT ok. I hope you sit him down after this and explain that is absolutely needs to change. Good luck OP!  So there you go. If your partner&#39;s as lazy as this dad, all bets are off.Hope this mom gets the rest she needs.

When your co-parent isn&#39;t holding up their end of the bargain, is it okay to pick up and leave?  That&#39;s what one woman is asking, after she packed a bag and left her family behind to show her husband how overwhelmed she is with...