life

<p>We all know we&#39;re supposed to be chill about our partner hanging out one-on-one with friends of all genders &mdash; but sometimes, that&#39;s easier said than done.</p><p>A woman whose &quot;alarm bells&quot; are going off <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jehj7u/aita_for_telling_my_husband_he_cant_hang_out_with/">has asked Reddit</a> if it&#39;s okay to ban her husband from seeing a family friend after he&#39;s been caught misbehaving on a regular basis. Here&#39;s her story.</p><h2>She says her husband has done &quot;shady crap&quot; before:</h2><blockquote> <p>So I (32f) and my husband (39m) have been married almost 9 years and been together 10. We have 3 children together. In those 10 years he has done shady crap like talking to other girls in inappropriate ways. He also lies and sneaks with drinking but thats a whole other thing.</p> </blockquote><h2>She has caught him red-handed:</h2><blockquote> <p>Anyway its only been twice (that i know of) that i caught him texting inappropriate things with another girl. I assumed we were working past that. The last time was only a few months ago. Hes always been the type to have lots of female friends and thats fine. Im not the jealous type and i have plenty of male friends. But because of the past texts he is still supposed to be building my trust in him.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Suddenly, he wants to hang out with a female friend:</h2><blockquote> <p>Well last week he tells me out of the blue a female friend of his wants to meet at a farm 2 hours away from us. Just him and the kids and her and her kids. Of course alarm bells went off. He then tells me he has known this girl since he was a teenager. (I found out that is true. She is a long time family friend).</p> </blockquote><h2>She doesn&#39;t understand why he suddenly wants to see this woman:</h2><blockquote> <p>But what he doesnt seem to get about why I am not okay with it is because in the 10 years we have been together, i never once heard her name! He never talked about her. Ever. So why now? He keeps saying its &quot;no big deal&quot; and shes &quot;just a friend.&quot; He then tells the girl he cant make it because of no gas instead of telling her its inappropriate and his wife is uncomfortable.</p> </blockquote><h2>Now they&#39;re arguing:</h2><blockquote> <p>He says im the a**hole because i feel like its inappropriate for a married man to be hanging out with the kids with a single woman who his wife never met. He doesnt seem to get that his past of lying and the desperate need for female attention is not giving him the best argument for a defense.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>She&#39;s sick of his shenanigans:</h2><blockquote> <p>Im at the point where I am so sick of this constant worry. He drove me to be an insecure jealous person I never was. I want to leave but at the same time i dont.</p> <p>So reddit....am i the a**hole?</p> </blockquote><h2>The people of Reddit agree that this husband&#39;s behavior isn&#39;t normal.</h2><p>EbolaSuitLookinCute says:</p><blockquote> <p>He&rsquo;s up to shady business, and your instincts are correct.</p> <p>You aren&rsquo;t crazy and insecure. He is creating a cycle where you are forced to be hyper-vigilant because of his toxic behavior. He&rsquo;s doing exactly what you think he is.</p> <p>He&rsquo;s chatting behind your back, making himself available, arranging an &ldquo;innocent&rdquo; kids meet-up, but excluding you intentionally and avoiding making mention of the boundaries of your relationship.</p> </blockquote><p>And legal_bagel adds:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>It&#39;s an emotional affair. He&#39;s taking the energy and support he is supposed to be giving/sharing with his wife and putting it into another woman. Even if everything else is innocent</p> </blockquote><p>BeckyVan agrees this has red flag written all over it:</p><blockquote> <p>I would have a huge issue if my husband said that. What I don&rsquo;t get is why you are not invited if it&rsquo;s a family friend? He should know by now how uncomfortable you are with him and other women.</p> </blockquote><p>Theta117 didn&#39;t mince words:</p><blockquote> <p>Hes cheating on you or working up to it. Hes unhappy with you if hes seeking other woman. And lying to you about it.</p> </blockquote><p>And halfwaygonetoo provides another perspective:</p><blockquote> <p>I do believe that men and women can be just friends. My best friend is a man. We&#39;ve been best friends for 36 years. Any invitations to any get togethers or events automatically include his wife. They&#39;re married. Why wouldn&#39;t I include her?</p> <p>However..</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I will admit that there was an instance of miscommunication that occurred early during his first marriage. I had invited them to a family event. Unfortunately, I worded the invitation as &quot;Hey, I&#39;m having a party on Saturday. Can you come?&quot; I meant the invite to be for both him and his wife but that&#39;s not what I said. Him, being an idiot, came without his wife. When I figured out what happened, I called him a jacka** and called his wife to apologize and invite her too. She was justifiably upset to put it mildly.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I learned a very valuable lesson from that situation. Ever since then, I&#39;m very clear to invite the main person AND their SO/Spouse.</p> <p>Your husband is being an idiot. Any and all invitations should automatically include you both. Not just him or just you. The only exceptions is guys or women hanging out. Which neither of you would enjoy that type of get together anyways. And, maybe business events but that depends upon the event.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>So there you have it. If your significant other has proven themselves to be untrustworthy, it&#39;s okay to question their behavior.</h2><p>Good luck to this lady...</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if it was okay to stop husband from hanging out with single female friend.

We all know we&#39;re supposed to be chill about our partner hanging out one-on-one with friends of all genders &mdash; but sometimes, that&#39;s easier said than done.A woman whose &quot;alarm bells&quot; are going off has asked Reddit if it&#39;s okay to ban her husband from seeing a family friend after he&#39;s been caught misbehaving on a regular basis. Here&#39;s her story.She says her husband has done &quot;shady crap&quot; before: So I (32f) and my husband (39m) have been married almost 9 years and been together 10. We have 3 children together. In those 10 years he has done shady crap like talking to other girls in inappropriate ways. He also lies and sneaks with drinking but thats a whole other thing. She has caught him red-handed: Anyway its only been twice (that i know of) that i caught him texting inappropriate things with another girl. I assumed we were working past that. The last time was only a few months ago. Hes always been the type to have lots of female friends and thats fine. Im not the jealous type and i have plenty of male friends. But because of the past texts he is still supposed to be building my trust in him. Suddenly, he wants to hang out with a female friend: Well last week he tells me out of the blue a female friend of his wants to meet at a farm 2 hours away from us. Just him and the kids and her and her kids. Of course alarm bells went off. He then tells me he has known this girl since he was a teenager. (I found out that is true. She is a long time family friend). She doesn&#39;t understand why he suddenly wants to see this woman: But what he doesnt seem to get about why I am not okay with it is because in the 10 years we have been together, i never once heard her name! He never talked about her. Ever. So why now? He keeps saying its &quot;no big deal&quot; and shes &quot;just a friend.&quot; He then tells the girl he cant make it because of no gas instead of telling her its inappropriate and his wife is uncomfortable. Now they&#39;re arguing: He says im the a**hole because i feel like its inappropriate for a married man to be hanging out with the kids with a single woman who his wife never met. He doesnt seem to get that his past of lying and the desperate need for female attention is not giving him the best argument for a defense. She&#39;s sick of his shenanigans: Im at the point where I am so sick of this constant worry. He drove me to be an insecure jealous person I never was. I want to leave but at the same time i dont. So reddit....am i the a**hole? The people of Reddit agree that this husband&#39;s behavior isn&#39;t normal.EbolaSuitLookinCute says: He&rsquo;s up to shady business, and your instincts are correct. You aren&rsquo;t crazy and insecure. He is creating a cycle where you are forced to be hyper-vigilant because of his toxic behavior. He&rsquo;s doing exactly what you think he is. He&rsquo;s chatting behind your back, making himself available, arranging an &ldquo;innocent&rdquo; kids meet-up, but excluding you intentionally and avoiding making mention of the boundaries of your relationship. And legal_bagel adds: It&#39;s an emotional affair. He&#39;s taking the energy and support he is supposed to be giving/sharing with his wife and putting it into another woman. Even if everything else is innocent BeckyVan agrees this has red flag written all over it: I would have a huge issue if my husband said that. What I don&rsquo;t get is why you are not invited if it&rsquo;s a family friend? He should know by now how uncomfortable you are with him and other women. Theta117 didn&#39;t mince words: Hes cheating on you or working up to it. Hes unhappy with you if hes seeking other woman. And lying to you about it. And halfwaygonetoo provides another perspective: I do believe that men and women can be just friends. My best friend is a man. We&#39;ve been best friends for 36 years. Any invitations to any get togethers or events automatically include his wife. They&#39;re married. Why wouldn&#39;t I include her? However..   I will admit that there was an instance of miscommunication that occurred early during his first marriage. I had invited them to a family event. Unfortunately, I worded the invitation as &quot;Hey, I&#39;m having a party on Saturday. Can you come?&quot; I meant the invite to be for both him and his wife but that&#39;s not what I said. Him, being an idiot, came without his wife. When I figured out what happened, I called him a jacka** and called his wife to apologize and invite her too. She was justifiably upset to put it mildly.   I learned a very valuable lesson from that situation. Ever since then, I&#39;m very clear to invite the main person AND their SO/Spouse. Your husband is being an idiot. Any and all invitations should automatically include you both. Not just him or just you. The only exceptions is guys or women hanging out. Which neither of you would enjoy that type of get together anyways. And, maybe business events but that depends upon the event. So there you have it. If your significant other has proven themselves to be untrustworthy, it&#39;s okay to question their behavior.Good luck to this lady...

We all know we&#39;re supposed to be chill about our partner hanging out one-on-one with friends of all genders &mdash; but sometimes, that&#39;s easier said than done.  A woman whose &quot;alarm bells&quot; are going off has asked Reddit...