These jokes cover none of it.
got blocked on rap genius for annotating the new Ariana Grande lyrics to be about Funky Kong pic.twitter.com/dEQTozJ9JC— Michal (@Miexriir) August 21, 2018
Oh my god that's my friend from college!— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) August 24, 2018
*stares for 2 full minutes*
Oh wait, never mind. My friend from college isn't still 22.
as a woman it's so hard to know if I'm being wildly, insanely aggressive or politely stating my opinion— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) August 23, 2018
This woman’s one-star review of an Austin Powers-themed bar is a good reminder that while we feminists have been focusing on breaking the glass ceiling, we’ve been shamefully ignoring the glass floor pic.twitter.com/pZo3VOvd9H— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) August 22, 2018
Ran into your boyfriend at Lowe’s pic.twitter.com/WuQN89j8VX— bruiseys of the carribean (@Bruisey) August 22, 2018
I hate it when people younger than me get nostalgic on here...”do you remember middle school....listening to bodack yellow...Pete and Ariana had just started dating...where does the time go...”— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) August 23, 2018
4pm time to sigh loudly so people think i did something today— farah brook (@farahbrook) August 24, 2018
James Cameron's 1997 film "Titanic" is not a poignant story of love and loss, but a cautionary tale about an elderly woman still obsessed with a sex weekend she had with a rando over 80 years before. In this TED Talk I will— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) August 24, 2018
U guys know about neural impulses?— Lynn Bixenspan (@lynnbixenspan) August 19, 2018
Really makes u think.
I've never heard anyone as excited as the girl I heard telling her friend that the guy she's seeing "actually has two sets of sheets."— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) August 23, 2018
When your girl sends you nudes without asking pic.twitter.com/NeTsBUrmU9— #YouBoughtYourBeard (@brandylovev) August 22, 2018
The vibe of every white family’s communication is everybody ate their other family members’ special leftovers ten years ago and it’s never been resolved— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) August 22, 2018
IF👏🏾YOU👏🏾CANT👏🏾HANDLE👏🏾ME👏🏾AT👏🏾MY👏🏾WORSE,👏🏾THEN👏🏾GOOD 👏🏾FOR👏🏾YOU👏🏾FOR👏🏾HAVING👏🏾BOUNDARIES!— Cristela Alonzo (@cristela9) August 18, 2018
Your true zodiac sign is whatever Mamma Mia song is stuck in your head at this current moment— alanna bennett (@AlannaBennett) August 23, 2018
Can’t wait to marry a truly disgusting man and love him with my whole heart. He will sort of care about me as well— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) August 23, 2018
It's not from a lady but you need this in your life!