Mansplainer subjects Jezebel writer to the most deranged rant about labia size.

Mansplainer subjects Jezebel writer to the most deranged rant about labia size.
Advertising

The labia expert has logged on and naturally, he is a man.

A SHORT man, which is somehow important to his argument.

The random dude decided to unleash his multi-paragraph rage on a Jezebel article called "I Really Want This Fashion Nova Bodysuit That Will Only Cover 15 Percent of My Labia," that brought readers to the attention of this $24.99 pleather slab with a "thong back" that will keep waxing centers in business.

Mansplainer subjects Jezebel writer to the most deranged rant about labia size.
Wedgie in the front, wedgie in the back.
Fashion Nova

Jezebel's Ashley Reese hilariously roasted this alleged piece of "clothing," writing, "the red Here For Fun Bodysuit (also available in an equally cooch-defying black) may result in a trip to the gynecologist."

The mention of vaginas is like a bat signal for trolls, and one particular guy, username: Bagdash, chimed in with "It seems you need an anatomy lesson." According to this labia expert, the issue with this bodysuit isn't that the vag covering is too small, it's that the writer's labia is too big.

Writer Emily Pratt screenshot the comment, and we're going to have to break it down line by line.

Advertising

The essay opens with:

It seems you need an anatomy lesson. Labia are not the entirety of the groin. Whereas I can see where you are trying to compensate for the idea that the vagina is the totality of female genital, this is a little beyond what is necessary.

A promising start. He then highlights his vaginal expertise:

Advertising

Some women have large labia minora, which might not fit in this, but not everything in the word is tailor made to YOUR BODY. You can’t expect for everything to fit you “just right”.

WE'RE ENTERING THE ALL CAPS ZONE, KIDS.

HE'S CALLING FOR ACCEPTANCE FOR THE SMALLER-LABIAED WOMEN.

Women with smaller labia are also just as normal as you are with whatever your labia size is. Whereas I could give a fuck a bout the Kardashians or this company, maybe some of them might like it. I might want to be able to where pants with a 35" inseam, but it will never happen because that’s not my body shape.

Advertising

Women with big labias are such SNOWFLAKES!

Instead of whining about shit that doesn’t meet your specific needs, why don’t you champion something that does instead.

This shit company, whatever it is, isn’t doing this to spite you, it just doesn’t fit you. So, like any normal, non-armchair social activists, just buy the shit that fits and don’t buy the shit that doesn’t. If this company is really that shit, which I’m sure it is, then let it be on the smaller-labia-ed women to decide if they like it or not.

Advertising
Mansplainer subjects Jezebel writer to the most deranged rant about labia size.
Giphy

He's a SHORT MAN, so he knows what it's like to have a big vagina (???).

As a short man, I wouldn’t comment on the designs of a big-and-tall store.

So you have big labia. Great. Keep it to yourself. D0 you want me talking about the size of my dick, big or small? For example, these jeans just wouldn’t be able to handle me.

This isn't just about big labias and small labias. It's about FEMINISM.

Advertising

It’s not for you, I get it. But who fucking cares really. The size of your labia and what they do or do not fit into is not a topic of conversation any more than you would like to hear about my penis and how it might be chafing from my clothes, which you have every right not to want to hear.

Now to get myself in trouble, a problem with feminism in this sense is that it tries to bring women to the level of men by acting like men. That being said, men acting like men has been the problem. We don’t need women to act like men in all of their bullshit.

Advertising

It's about traditional gender roles—and women should act like WOMEN, getting back in the kitchen and shutting up about their bottom lips.

Be a woman, not like a man—I think we would agree that what we’ve seen over the past couple thousand years and beyond of recorded history is that men are/can be total shit. Don’t be like us.

And all that being said, yeah, this whatever it is is stupid.

When it comes to labias, unless they're certified gynocologists, men should zip their damn lips.

Mansplainer subjects Jezebel writer to the most deranged rant about labia size.
Giphy
Advertising