It has three settings: light, medium, and scarred-for-life.

To be fair, we hear the Hitachi serves up the best, uh, muscle relaxation on the market. She gave birth to you, doesn't she deserve the best after all the damage you've done...down there? In fact, why don't you get her all of these items? A portable hard drive to store all of her CSI: MIami-themed fan-porn, headphones for a nice, private David Caruso-and-Hitachi sesh, and then an 8-cup All-Natural Eco-Friendly Digital Yogurt Maker because she hasn't had a yogurt maker since your dad left. Well, good luck getting through your week with those thoughts in your head. We're going to go wash our brains out with soap right now.

Sources: Redditor alli00p