Babies don't get to choose their own names, which is probably for the best, since if they did, everyone's name would be "gurgle" or "[screaming noise]." This is why it falls upon our legal guardians to choose our names. But many parents, despite being adults with full mastery of language, also do a pretty terrible job at this.
1.) From captainmagictrousers:
My coworker named her baby "Strawberry Rain", which would be a great name if she had given birth to a bottle of shampoo.
2.) From LilPeaHen:
I actually went to school with a guy named Richard Rash. To make it worse his mother was a teacher there. Poor Dick couldn't catch a break
3.) From hotdogfluster: