Comedians tend to be quite observant - and luckily for the Internet, Stuart Laws can multitask. The British comedian watched a hilarious conflict play out at his local cafe and livetweeted the entire thing. This story has everything: people being needlessly dramatic, stunned onlookers, protracted hostility, and a twist you won't see coming.
It's a long thread, so set aside some time to scroll through. We begin with two main characters feuding: