Parenting

<p>Divorce is complicated. Especially if you have kids. Your feelings may be hurt, your ego might be damaged, and you may even be mad as hell. No matter what bad blood exists between you and your ex, it&#39;s not your child&#39;s responsibility to smooth it over. It&#39;s always the job of the parents to make their kids feel safe, loved, and supported no matter what, right?</p><p>Reddit user <a data-testid="post_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ThrowawayPaige67/">u/ThrowawayPaige67</a> does not want to attend her ex-husband&#39;s funeral under any circumstances, even though her teen daughter is begging her to. Now she&#39;s asking Reddit if she&#39;s wrong for sticking to her boundaries over supporting her grieving child.</p><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/szq7m7/aita_for_refusing_to_go_with_my_16yodaughter_to/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf">AITA</a> (Am I The As*hole) for refusing to go with my 16yo/Daughter to her father&#39;s funeral?</h2><p>She writes:</p><blockquote> <p>My ex-husband (My daughter&#39;s father) passed away 2 days ago at the age of (36). my 16-year-old daughter begged that I go with her to the funeral because she said she doesn&#39;t know anyone there and needs my support and guidance.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I refused because I did not feel comfortable seeing my former in-laws. It&#39;s just not worth the pain, plus her grandparents and her younger uncle that she adores so much will be there so that is good enough.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I also offered to have my brother drive her there and return her home later, but she refused and kept begging that I go with her. I told her no and that I have my reasons and that&#39;s it.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She unloaded on me yesterday calling me bitter and selfish And said that my hatred for her dad is still there and is disgusting. I was really hurt I had an argument with her but didn&#39;t punish her for what she called me because she&#39;s grieving and is processing her father&#39;s passing.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I just cut the argument and told her to go upstairs. She went inside her room and refused to come out for lunch and dinner. My boyfriend tried to stay with her and get her to eat but she refused.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>He told me later that this is obviously something my daughter is not dealing with properly and suggested I just go to the funeral because if I don&#39;t then there will be lasting resentment from my daughter.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I went to bed but couldn&#39;t sleep over this. I feel like just because she wants this doesn&#39;t mean I just go with it. I never push her to do anything she doesn&#39;t wanna do.</p> </blockquote><h2>nar&middot;cis&middot;sist: A person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.</h2><p>Yep, this mom is truly the dictionary definition of a narcissist. In case you don&#39;t hate her enough at this point, she added more clarifying info:</p><blockquote> <p>For those who are suspecting that there&#39;s a girlfriend there that I don&#39;t want to see - No, nothing like that.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>My ex-husband never dated after me because he was dealing with multiple chronic conditions, which is the main reason for our separation.<strong> </strong></p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>My daughter never wanted us to divorce and she blamed me when the court granted me custody because her dad was not able to care for her.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I don&#39;t hate my ex-husband, he&#39;s my daughter&#39;s father, and losing him is devastating for me, that is why I wanted to grief in peace.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>As for my in-laws, they resent me for initiating divorce in the first place and accused me of abandoning their son</p> </blockquote><p>Sometimes you read the title of one of these &quot;Am I The As*hole&quot; stories and you think the person is the a-hole, but then you read their story and you realize you judged them too quickly. This is not one of those times.</p><p>This mom is 1,000% &quot;The As*hole&quot; in this situation. The fact that she&#39;s even asking if she did something wrong gives you a clue into how out of it she is in regards to other people&#39;s feelings. I&#39;m glad she has a boyfriend because she definitely destroyed her relationship with her teenage daughter.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>The people of Reddit did not hold back when it came to telling this selfish mom what they think of her behavior. People have no sympathy for a mother who basically abandons their grieving child. Do you agree?</p><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Comfortable_Stop_717/">Comfortable_Stop_717</a></p><blockquote> <p>YTA, I understand that it will be hard for you, but it&#39;s harder for her. Her dad is dead and she needs her mother. Step up.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/pinguthegreek/">pinguthegreek</a></p><blockquote> <p>YTA. That&rsquo;s your 16-year-old daughter and you&rsquo;re just not willing to support her doing the hardest thing she will ever do? You&rsquo;re not a mum. You just gave birth to her.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/EmpressKittyKat/">EmpressKittyKat</a></p><blockquote> <p>Abandons husband when he&rsquo;s chronically ill. Abandons child when they need support for their grief. OP seems to be a fair-weather friend!</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/setsumaeu/">setsumaeu</a></p><blockquote> <p>YTA. Part of being a parent is being uncomfortable so your children can be comfortable.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Technical-College-93/">Technical-College-93</a></p><blockquote> <p>Not to mention the comment about the in-laws saying she abandoned their son. She did and now she is abandoning her daughter in her time of need. YTA</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Grumpy_Troll/">Grumpy_Troll</a></p><blockquote> <p>I kept reading expecting to get to the part where the Ex-husband abused the OP in some significant way. And then instead of that, we find out OP actually just dumped him because he had chronic illnesses?</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Like WTF! OP was a huge AH before the funeral and she will likely continue to be a huge AH for the rest of her life. There&#39;s going to be a lot of empty seats when it comes time for her funeral.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NewBromance/">NewBromance</a></p><blockquote> <p>Yeah this is one of the most crucial and important points in her daughters teenage life. This will be a moment that impacts her for the rest of her life and how her mother chose to act in that moment will never be forgotten.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>OP will severely damage her relationship with her daughter. YTA</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/zero_gravity94/">zero_gravity94</a></p><blockquote> <p>Yeah, YTA. Relationships are not about not forcing the other person to do something they don&#39;t want to. Relationships are about occasionally doing something YOU don&#39;t want to in order to support the other person.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>This is your daughter&#39;s father. She asked you to be there for her. She&#39;s still underage. Be there for her. She needs you.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Alarming-Leather-317/">Alarming-Leather-317</a></p><blockquote> <p>YTA. <em>THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU</em>!! This is about your daughter, who wants your support at her other parent&#39;s <em>funeral</em>.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>What other moments will you miss because you refuse to be in the same place as her paternal fault? Graduation? Her wedding? How many times in her 16 years have you forced her to choose between you?</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Get over yourself and go to the damn funeral.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Mom asks if she’s wrong for refusing to attend her daughter’s father’s funeral.

Divorce is complicated. Especially if you have kids. Your feelings may be hurt, your ego might be damaged, and you may even be mad as hell. No matter what bad blood exists between you and your ex, it&#39;s not your child&#39;s responsibility to smooth it over. It&#39;s always the job of the parents to make their kids feel safe, loved, and supported no matter what, right?Reddit user u/ThrowawayPaige67 does not want to attend her ex-husband&#39;s funeral under any circumstances, even though her teen daughter is begging her to. Now she&#39;s asking Reddit if she&#39;s wrong for sticking to her boundaries over supporting her grieving child.AITA (Am I The As*hole) for refusing to go with my 16yo/Daughter to her father&#39;s funeral?She writes: My ex-husband (My daughter&#39;s father) passed away 2 days ago at the age of (36). my 16-year-old daughter begged that I go with her to the funeral because she said she doesn&#39;t know anyone there and needs my support and guidance.  I refused because I did not feel comfortable seeing my former in-laws. It&#39;s just not worth the pain, plus her grandparents and her younger uncle that she adores so much will be there so that is good enough.  I also offered to have my brother drive her there and return her home later, but she refused and kept begging that I go with her. I told her no and that I have my reasons and that&#39;s it.  She unloaded on me yesterday calling me bitter and selfish And said that my hatred for her dad is still there and is disgusting. I was really hurt I had an argument with her but didn&#39;t punish her for what she called me because she&#39;s grieving and is processing her father&#39;s passing.  I just cut the argument and told her to go upstairs. She went inside her room and refused to come out for lunch and dinner. My boyfriend tried to stay with her and get her to eat but she refused.  He told me later that this is obviously something my daughter is not dealing with properly and suggested I just go to the funeral because if I don&#39;t then there will be lasting resentment from my daughter.  I went to bed but couldn&#39;t sleep over this. I feel like just because she wants this doesn&#39;t mean I just go with it. I never push her to do anything she doesn&#39;t wanna do. nar&middot;cis&middot;sist: A person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.Yep, this mom is truly the dictionary definition of a narcissist. In case you don&#39;t hate her enough at this point, she added more clarifying info: For those who are suspecting that there&#39;s a girlfriend there that I don&#39;t want to see - No, nothing like that.  My ex-husband never dated after me because he was dealing with multiple chronic conditions, which is the main reason for our separation.   My daughter never wanted us to divorce and she blamed me when the court granted me custody because her dad was not able to care for her.  I don&#39;t hate my ex-husband, he&#39;s my daughter&#39;s father, and losing him is devastating for me, that is why I wanted to grief in peace.  As for my in-laws, they resent me for initiating divorce in the first place and accused me of abandoning their son Sometimes you read the title of one of these &quot;Am I The As*hole&quot; stories and you think the person is the a-hole, but then you read their story and you realize you judged them too quickly. This is not one of those times.This mom is 1,000% &quot;The As*hole&quot; in this situation. The fact that she&#39;s even asking if she did something wrong gives you a clue into how out of it she is in regards to other people&#39;s feelings. I&#39;m glad she has a boyfriend because she definitely destroyed her relationship with her teenage daughter.The people of Reddit did not hold back when it came to telling this selfish mom what they think of her behavior. People have no sympathy for a mother who basically abandons their grieving child. Do you agree?Comfortable_Stop_717 YTA, I understand that it will be hard for you, but it&#39;s harder for her. Her dad is dead and she needs her mother. Step up. pinguthegreek YTA. That&rsquo;s your 16-year-old daughter and you&rsquo;re just not willing to support her doing the hardest thing she will ever do? You&rsquo;re not a mum. You just gave birth to her. EmpressKittyKat Abandons husband when he&rsquo;s chronically ill. Abandons child when they need support for their grief. OP seems to be a fair-weather friend! setsumaeu YTA. Part of being a parent is being uncomfortable so your children can be comfortable. Technical-College-93 Not to mention the comment about the in-laws saying she abandoned their son. She did and now she is abandoning her daughter in her time of need. YTA Grumpy_Troll I kept reading expecting to get to the part where the Ex-husband abused the OP in some significant way. And then instead of that, we find out OP actually just dumped him because he had chronic illnesses?  Like WTF! OP was a huge AH before the funeral and she will likely continue to be a huge AH for the rest of her life. There&#39;s going to be a lot of empty seats when it comes time for her funeral. NewBromance Yeah this is one of the most crucial and important points in her daughters teenage life. This will be a moment that impacts her for the rest of her life and how her mother chose to act in that moment will never be forgotten.  OP will severely damage her relationship with her daughter. YTA zero_gravity94 Yeah, YTA. Relationships are not about not forcing the other person to do something they don&#39;t want to. Relationships are about occasionally doing something YOU don&#39;t want to in order to support the other person.  This is your daughter&#39;s father. She asked you to be there for her. She&#39;s still underage. Be there for her. She needs you. Alarming-Leather-317 YTA. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!! This is about your daughter, who wants your support at her other parent&#39;s funeral.  What other moments will you miss because you refuse to be in the same place as her paternal fault? Graduation? Her wedding? How many times in her 16 years have you forced her to choose between you?  Get over yourself and go to the damn funeral. 

Divorce is complicated. Especially if you have kids. Your feelings may be hurt, your ego might be damaged, and you may even be mad as hell. No matter what bad blood exists between you and your ex, it&#39;s not your child&#39;s...