Fellow students, welcome to the graduation for the Class of 2015.

As commencement speaker, I'd like to take this opportunity to give a more honest graduation speech. You deserve that.

We've all worked really, really medium to get here. For the past four years, we've done only what was required of us. We've started all the books we were supposed to read, then finished by reading their Wikipedia pages. We've stayed awake through the majority of our classes. We've mostly not cheated. And now, just by virtue of showing up, we've made it. We're graduating and going out into the world.