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Prom night comes with a lot of expectations. Movies and TV tell you it’s supposed to be the best night of your young life, but it’s also a night when people have really bad sex, often for the first time. That’s a lot of pressure, and some people, like these redditors, cracked under that pressure. The only memories they have from prom are these embarrassing and hilarious stories.

They're all gonna laugh at you!
They're all gonna laugh at you!
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1. If the phrase or concept of “keeping the smell from permeating” is part of your prom experience, like it was for B-NINE, it’s a foregone conclusion that it’s not going to be a stellar night.

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I had to get my dress from a thrift shop (way before that was cool). It looked like a doily. Most of the night consisted of people asking me where I got my dress and me lying about where I got my dress. Oh, I also had to do my farm chores before going. I was shoveling cow shit with my hair in rollers with a shower cap on to hopefully keep the smell from permeating.

2. User ravyrn didn’t realize you’re supposed to play spin the bottle after prom, not before. And with an empty bottle.

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Senior prom. My girlfriend, myself, and I think 3 or 4 pairs of other friends went to a very nice steakhouse in a neighboring city. One of our goofy friends at the table ordered something that came with fries and they brought a glass ketchup bottle to the table. At some point during the meal, my friend is goofing around, lays the ketchup bottle on its side, and says hey lets play spins the bottle. He spins the shit out of the ketchup bottle. He didn't close the bottle properly, resulting in the lid not being secured. So he spins the shit out of this bottle, the lid flies off, and ketchup splatters out all over the table creating 360 degrees of disaster.

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3. So ilovepelicans apparently went to high school in the town from Footloose.

My date had family rules which prohibited a female dancing with a male, unless it was a family member. I didn't find out until numerous death glares form her and her friends. Once she finally told me, I quickly took my seat at the empty banquet table. I completely respected her family values. So I sat, and I watched all of my fellow classmates have the time of their lives.

Nope.
Nope.
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4. This story from a deleted user’s account starts with a bit about a seafood restaurant, so you can pretty much tell where it's going.

I went to my prom as part of a group and we went to a seafood restaurant beforehand. Well, apparently the fish didn't sit well with one of the ladies in my group. Unfortunately, whoever decided where our prom was held didn't think it would be a problem to have one single stall women's bathroom for an event that had about 200 teenage girls. So, I got to spend most of my prom night guarding the stall door from a bunch of drunk girls that all had to pee and then helping my friend try to clean puke and shit off her expensive dress.

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5.TheWildTofuHunter went to prom with a Marine, and learned that love is a battlefield.

Senior year with my Marine (shitbird) then-boyfriend: * I paid for everything including flowers and dinner * I picked him up from the base 90 minutes away and drove him back * he wouldn't dance with me even once cause "it felt weird" and he didn't like the music, but got insulted when I danced with my male friends * he insulted my friends (???) * he went out with his friends afterwards to drink.

6. No, DiscardAndDisco, nobody “jokingly” pees on each other. And certainly not on prom night.

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After prom, we went to a friend's house to hangout. It was him, his girlfriend (my BFF at the time). I slept on the couch while they did their thing. At around 6am, they came to get me for help. I guess they were so drunk that the intentionally sexually/jokingly peed all over each other and the bed, and were trying to use bug spray to clean. It was the epitome of a hot mess.

"A Night Underwater"
"A Night Underwater"
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7. The theme of ObliviousTrollAccount’s prom was “An Enchanted Evening of Soccer Hooliganism.”

I head butted my prom date on the dance floor.

8. For bellamarx, meat is murder, and so is paying for it.

Went to a steakhouse (I'm vegetarian) with about 30 people I didnt know and had to wait for everyone's food to arrive before I could dig into my lettuce wedge. Arrived late to the actual prom and stood in line for pictures for an hour, danced to two songs and left. Oh, and I had to pay for everything cause my date got arrested a couple days prior.

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9. User taytermuffin had a full service limo driver. In addition to taking them to the prom, he also offered casual racism, drunken antics, and a crab.

The limo driver was extremely late and when he arrived there was a HUGE scrape down the side of the entire limo. He said "damn Asian drivers" when he got out and indicated that he was late because he had side-swiped someone on the way to pick us up. We took pictures in front of the limo and used our bodies to cover up the giant scrape behind us. When we set off, we started looking around the limo and finding weird stuff. Half the seatbelts didn't work, we found glasses with lipstick stains on them, old luau party banners and supplies, and there was alcohol with a moldy cork floating in it. There shouldn't have even been alcohol in there, as we were all still in high school.

The driver made a bunch of wrong turns, ran over/hit curbs and kept having to double back. We drove to San Francisco and got to the restaurant we were eating at, which had fresh seafood. Like, aquariums of fish you could point to and they'd kill that one and cook it for you.

The limo driver tried to eat one of the live crabs as well. When we got out to go into the restaurant, that's when we saw the flask. It was sitting on the front passenger seat. Then we put two and two together, and realized the reason he hit a car earlier that day, kept making wrong turns, hitting/going over curbs and singing funny songs/trying to eat live seafood was because he was drunk.

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ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE ACTUAL LIMO DRIVER.
ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE ACTUAL LIMO DRIVER.

10. User inclinedtothelie went to an “Alternative Prom,” and an “Alternative Prom” she got.

I didn't go to my high school prom, but went to an Alternative Prom my first year of college. The guy who asked me came out to me that night, then tried to make out with me, coerce me into a threesome, threw up and then left me to find a ride home... Not the best night ever.

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11. At least teddythe3rd still woke up to a lady the morning after.

I went to senior prom with the girl that I was crushing on since freshman year. We had been to dances before so this was not a big deal. I wound up getting alcohol poisoning that night and woke up the next day in the hospital with my mother staring at me.

12. User wbollendorf was so worried about getting effed that he didn't get effed.

I almost lost my virginity in a threesome in the back of a minivan with my date and her friend. I backed out at the last minute because it dawned on me that if I got cum or any other miscellaneous bodily fluid on my tux rental, I'd have been fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudged.

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13. And afterward Reaction_On_My_Nub had sex in the back of a virtual car.

I Skyped into my at-the-time-girlfriend's prom all the way across the country. Her friends passed around a laptop with my grainy face while I tried to convince myself that this was fun.

14. Classic sitcom prom, Arca9ine. You know, except for the weeping.

We went to prom in a really nice hummer limo. At the end of the night my boyfriend and I along with one other girl were the first to enter the limo. We were at the top of a hill and the transmission went. The limo started rolling down the hill and knocked down street signs and parking lot lights before slamming into a tree. If we didn't hit the tree we would've gone into a lake. The limo was totalled. Instead of having a romantic sleep over with my boyfriend I cried myself to sleep. Prom sucked.

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Your chariot, m'lady.
Your chariot, m'lady.
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