School is back in session, and for many kids across the country, that means a "personal health" class, i.e. sexual education. It's equal parts demystifying, awkward, and fascinating… provided the teacher is up to the task.
Some people who have already taken sex ed got on Reddit to share their stories of teachers who, for whatever reason, delivered woefully, alarmingly wrong information on how bodies work.
1. HopBiscuits was told the "real" reason people get married, and it's not for the health insurance.
The reason Mom's and Dad's can have sex without a condom is because you can't get aids or STD's if you're in love.
I shit you not
2. A totally fail-proof plan from whatever fool taught Omniscient_Snail_Sam.
If you're worried about being pressured into sex, just "keep things vertical" because it's not possible to have sex without lying down.
3. KWBC24 has the top comment.
8th Grade, the teacher said that a girl cant get pregnant while on top because gravity wouldnt let the sperm go up
4. NowCanBeLoudAndProud had a celebrity teacher: the Worst Lover of all time.
Teach said the clit didn't really exist and that there was only one hole in the vagina... scary old man, i never liked him. BUT I did get to go and find the truth for myself, so that was neato
5. LindtClassicRecipe had a sex ed teacher that was either a man or an idiot.
"Periods don't hurt." Fuck you, yes they do. I realize some people don't cramp--even if I've never encountered a person without cramps--but still warn us! I thought I was dying the first time I had it.
6. Let's hope KitchitiKipi's teacher got that myth personally debunked.
She said girls can't cum...when a boy asked her to clarify he said "you just mean they can't ejaculate right?" And she responded "yes also that but female orgasm is a myth"
7. A lengthy diatribe from theissingm.
Average penis size is 8 inches, you can imagine how that would affect self-esteem.
8. Straight-up lies for birdprincess.
"You will never bleed through your underwear."
9. Fortunately, Nemocom314 had a math teacher that was better than their sex ed teacher.
That condoms were 80% effective per time of use, and that was only if you used them correctly. Actually condoms are 99.9% effective over the course of a year if used correctly. Her theory was that 1 in 5 times you had sex with a condom would result in pregnancy (or at least that's the lie she told). I never thought very much of her, and this certainly didn't help.
10. Totally tubular, BananLarsi! And perplexing!
That a vagina has some kind of tube inside it so when penetrating a vagina with a penis, the tube must be inserted into the penis-hole before insemination in order for her to get pregnant.
It didnt make sense then either
11. Those who can't do, teach, ManolinaCoralina.
That women can't have orgasms unless they're being penetrated. I pity that guy's wife.
12. They're intrepid little buggers, says ferrrretsultan's teacher.
I was told that condoms increase your risk of pregnancy. Also fellatio can get you pregnant because the "sperm knows where to go".
13. toxicwaste25 had a teacher unfamiliar with both history and 19th century literature.
That women don't die during childbirth, and that was just a myth.
14. It can't do two things at the same time, mirrokrowr?
That you can't pee with an erection. I thought that she meant boys were literally physically unable to do that, not that it was just difficult. So the first time I did it, I thought something was horribly wrong with me.
15. That's true, bgeller, except for everybody.
Most people choose to abstain from sex until marriage.
16. This teacher of Planeguy22 was, as the British would say, "bloody well wrong."
The blood in the penis during an erection must come out somehow, so when you lost the erection, your penis would bleed... Strange teacher.
17. dont_trust_cats had a sex ed teacher who apparently took sex ed from a group of eight-year-olds.
That women peed out of their clitoris and that it was like a "small penis". She was 28 years old.
18. There's a time and place for everything, syco54645.
That the balls go in too.