Teachers have to deal with that parent every year, and because of professional and confidentiality stuff, they oftentimes don't have an outlet to make fun of them—that is, until now. A Reddit user put out a call to teachers to share their most ridiculous parent quotes, and they quickly flocked to the thread with some horrifying and hilarious sound bites. Here are the prime cuts.
"She doesn't have to be smart, she has to be pretty. She will find a rich man, marry him and never use chemistry again."
"I have clothes older than you."
Maybe not the most outrageous interaction, but it came with a twist.
I had a helicopter parent get extremely aggressive and threatening when his daughter was given a B on her progress report. Whatever, dude. It's not a real grade, chill. The student later earned an A because it was deserved, not because dad was bullying me.
Fast forward about a year, he was arrested while on the family vacation to the home country for arranging and paying for his wife's murder.
I wasn't that shocked, honestly.
Student's mom told me, in detail, about her vaginal reconstructive surgery. Apparently she had it done because, after having children, her vagina "just kept falling out!"
I teach math in an inner city middle school. I once had a parent tell me that I "need to treat her with respect" because she had a "master's degree in typing" and is not "your typical trap bitch". Needless to say, she was the typical trap bitch.
I was told I had their permission to punish their child if they were not getting 100's on everything. This was in an elementary school.
Not sure if applicable, but I am a college instructor and have a few students that are parents.
One asked me if I would like to do blow with her in the parking lot after class.
That clearly the reason their son was making inappropriate, sexual comments towards me was because I was "enticing him with flirtatious private meetings". They were referring to the times I had to keep him back after class to lecture him on his behaviour. I actually said "Are you fucking kidding me?", which, I admit, was also an inappropriate comment.
A friend had a parent that insisted she re-do all the report cards using software he created, rather than the software used by the school board. The parent also complained that it was unfair his child was given 0 on assignments the kid didn't do, because nobody had explained that not doing the assignments would affect the overall grade.
Had a parent conference after, in just the first week, the 15 year old boy told me to fuck off when I asked him to get to work on the assignment, then after I didn't throw him out after hearing that, screamed "fuck you, you can't tell me what to do" repeatedly as I finally DID walk him to the office.
Parent says the next day, "you should just let him get his way. It's easier"
A parent last year apologized for her son's attendance (45%) because she's had him in counseling for the past 6 months to help him cope with the loss of their hamster. 6 months of therapy. For a hamster. Never in my 19 years as an educator did I ever feel guilty for feeling zero sympathy for a chronic attendance excuse.
I had a friend who got a 97 on his tests so his parent refused to make him dinner. They let him make something himself, but he was not allowed to eat with them.
A few years ago, I had a couple come in to discuss the behavior of a child who kept disrupting class. He would curse, make flip his peers off and made other inappropriate gestures. Eventually I got sick of it and called them in.
I don't know what kind of bullshit story he told them in order to make me look like the bad cop -- I was actually appalled when his father had the audacity to call me a "fucking neanderthal" for whatever the son told them I did to him. His mother wasn't much better either, saying that I was a buffoon for my actions. The punishment I gave him stuck, and I'm still questioning what kind of parents they were to this day.
Parent: "I find it quite frankly ridiculous that what you CLAIM happens bares absolutely no resembalance to the statement my 12 year old son has written for me detailing the incident, and it's quite franky appalling that you expect me to discuss it with you now whilst he is not sat beside me to verify that you are telling me the truth."
I nearly hung up on that one... Before explaining that I didn't find it that "ridiculous" that her son might have forgotten to mention that he hit another child around the face, called me a "f-ing bitch" and threatened to punch my lights out.
This was the same mother who told me that I was denying her child's "student voice" ... I told her he was allowed a student voice when used approproiately, not when his "student voice" was aggressively threatening me.
I'm finding that I'm understanding my students a lot more once I've spoken to their parents.
Teacher training does not place enough emphasis on advice for handling difficult parents...
One time, a parent whose kid committed plagiarism on an assignment about the Watergate scandal actually called me Nixon and demanded my resignation. For, you know. Pointing out that their kid committed plagiarism.