If you don't have a great job like 50 Cent's toddler, paying for college can be really tough. The rest of us have to get pretty sneaky to buy those very valuable English bachelor degrees, by filing for bankruptcy or selling our organs. Two totally straight bros* came up with a better idea: marrying each other.
Here is their text exchange planning the whole escapade:
Both dudes are immediately on board. It's really touching that the gay community has come so far that straight men can improve their lives by coming out of the closet.
They've edited out some of the details of their frenzied planning, but you can get the gist: be gay for pay.
Good luck you two! It's so wonderful to be living in a time when straight dudes and gay dudes have the same right to defraud the government. Equality has finally been achieved.
*Names have been protected so they are not caught on fraud charges and also because it's the internet and we don't know their real names.