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If you don't have a great job like 50 Cent's toddler, paying for college can be really tough. The rest of us have to get pretty sneaky to buy those very valuable English bachelor degrees, by filing for bankruptcy or selling our organs. Two totally straight bros* came up with a better idea: marrying each other.

Actual research not to be confused with fake research.
Actual research not to be confused with fake research.

Here is their text exchange planning the whole escapade:

When a sum as little as $30 is an issue, pretending to be gay isn't.
When a sum as little as $30 is an issue, pretending to be gay isn't.